Laws of the Boys

I found this some time ago and was going to try to turn it into a newspaper column but alas I was laid off. These laws were created by my son and possibly a friend as rules for their clubhouse. At the time, he was 9 years old and quite embarrassed that I found it.

1. Trust nobody
2. Accept other ideas (if they are good).
3. Always have gum on you. Only for emergencies (like bullies).
4. Never yell (it looks dumb).
5. Avoid girls. They're impossible to understand.
6. If you want to end a conversation just say random numbers or sounds.

Well, what can I say? I don't agree with number one. I like to believe in the good in people but circumstances can make people change. Circumstances like money and inheritances for instance.

I do agree with number two. Who wants bad ideas?

Gum is nice to have. Though I don't often chew it you never know when it might come in handy to break the ice or repair something akin to MacGyver - remember that old TV show?

Yelling and losing one's temper doesn't accomplish much . . .

As for number five, the same might be said for men or boys.

Number six sounds like the insanity defense to me and could indeed be very effective.

The greatest gifts

I promised to write about the best gift(s) I have ever received and there are three that I can think of.

I worked in the cafeteria for a couple years in college and befriended a shy, 'townie' woman named Mary who was very sweet and definitely grew up with limited educational opportunities, limited funds, and lots of hard work. We maintained our friendship right through my senior year even though I no longer worked in the cafeteria. I remember it was hard to tell her that I had received a job with a professor and would no longer be working with her. But through senior year, we'd meet on occaision for donuts/coffee in the school cafeteria. This venue was open to the public so I could attend even though I was no longer on the school cafeteria plan and mostly subsiting on Kraft Mac and Cheese and frozen peas as I recall.

Anyway, when I graduated from college she gave me a card with a $20 bill in it. This was such a huge sacrifice for her and it is still one of the best gifts I ever remember. I remember I went over to her house to say goodbye to her when she gave it to me.

Similarly, when I worked as a newspaper editor I had a reporter who was v. poor (aren't they all by the way). Though he didn't dwell on it, I remember him scraping together enough money to fill his gas tank and counting on the meager mileage checks for sustenance. At Christmas time, he gave me a $10 gift certificate to Dunkin Donuts which was just about the sweetest thing ever. As I opened it he explained, "It's only $10 dollars." But I knew again what a sacrifice that was for him. I was touched and that was definitely my nicest Christmas present that year.

One other memorable gift that comes to mind was when my grandmother escorted my sister and I into some fabulous gift store and told us we could pick out whatever we wanted. Well, just the thought of the endless possibilities still registers as one of the best gifts ever - and I don't even remember what I picked out because it doesn't matter. The gift was so magical and generous and without limitations.

Unrelated thoughts

• Daniel calls his new basketball sneakers his 'high heels'
• Matthew took a swig of cranberry juice the other day and with a pained expression on his face scowled "What did you do to this juice?" After a few moments, Doug asked him if he had recently brushed his teeth . . .
• When I returned to a state agency where I had worked for 6 years I was struck by the timewarp atmosphere but I was also wistful remembering the nice Italian women who had hung out their rosary beads on their clotheslines for me the day of my wedding to ward off the rain.
• When you haven't seen people for 10 years or more, the changes can be dramatic. Like going from hair to no hair, fat to thin, brown to gray - you get the idea.

Mohawks and other thoughts

Mohawk, ain't it grand!

Well what can I say. Doesn't this image make a mother or father proud. Daniel has had a severe outbreak of lice in his kindergarten class and thankfully (I am told, though I have no experience with lice) he has not contracted them. But he did get a Mohawk when I suggested Doug buzz his hair off. "He's always wanted one," was the answer I received. I thought Daniel would be severely made fun off but he seems to like the attention.

I did insist we cut it off before Thanksgiving (the photos and all).

It's kind of reminding me of my good friend's husband who just got a sizeable, colorful tattoo. I actually don't think he got it because he loves tattoos, there's some other deeper, lurking reason akin to Daniel's loving the Mohawk - the attention, rebelliousness, or some other deeper pschyology. Doug said these reasons are why everybody gets tattoos. This tatoo has caused some tension in that household and I think that's part of the appeal.

Unrelated thoughts

• Hey, Toto the dog has taken to sleeping on the couch in the kitchen. He is so brazen and so cute that no one has bothered to kick him off or reprimand him. It pays to be cute.
• Oh, the Patriots lost in a big way to the Colts but what I take from the whole episode is the fact that it is so easy to second guess a coach or team when we know the outcome i.e they lost.
• I've decided what my purpose is in life: to give people a nudge and make people think. What do you think of that?

I'm also coming out of my shell and decided to volunteer for the children's sermon at church. It would be so tempting to grab that wireless mike and launch into the intro of Blue Moon. "Kids this microphone is SO cool." But alas I was going to talk about gifts and the greatest gift I have ever received and then of course parlay this with the gifts we all have and the gift of Jesus etc. which I don't buy that much but this is church afterall.

I'll write about the greatest gift(s) I have ever received for next time. Peace.

Confidence is key

A woman at the talent show said her life is so full of responsibility with work and kids that it was nice to have something that was just for fun. She and two other women did a dancing/karyoke number to Dancing Queen. It was funny and looked fun.

Before the talent show, Matt said 'Confidence is key' and for him that meant preparation. he practiced and practiced and had his song memorized. He went up to the piano and didn't even open his music and he played it flawlessly. I was so proud of both he and Michael. Michael too practiced his song though he regreted not picking a more difficult one. As a result he was a little embarrassed.

As we convened at Tony's Pizza afterward, I told him to be proud, and not to take anything out on himself. He could be proud - look at all the people in the audience that didn't get up there. He seemed to understand - focus on the positive and take from this 'I'll choose to do things differently nex time' but DON'T take the experience out on yourself.

They both vowed to do the talent show next year - so that's an encouraging sign.

As for my experience, I went last which was an excruciating wait, but the talent show was hokey enough not to take it too seriously. Besides it was mostly kids.

I was nervous but I played my song pretty well - though I didn't make much eye contact with the audience. And I took my own advice, I was proud and vowed next time to engage the audience a little more and to not cut the song a little short (I cut off the last chorus). But I was proud and Michael even said I was the best one in the show.

Which seguays nicely into a question Doug asked me in regard to a conversation we were having about critiques - 'Would you rather have people tell you you are good, even if your music sucked?' YES. We laughed and laughed.

An original song is Soul Bearing. Be Kind.

I too may do the talent show next year - so I take that as a good sign.

Anything is possible

I have a dream and I am not talking about racial equality. I have a dream to write a hit song (or two) and collect 1, big fat paycheck. But there are plenty of naysayers out there. When I played my CD for my sister she commented on my "strained" voice and tried to back track by saying folk singers don't need good voices anyway. Gee thanks.

My piano teacher, who has actually been pretty supportive, told me the CD was good but he added it's more like a "demo" CD - in other words not final quality. He doesn't think I have a chance in the cutthroat music business - to succeed.

My husband Doug, though supportive, says little.

Still I hold onto the dream of unlimited prosperity from my songs. It's fun and makes me feel like anything is possible, because you never know.

My kids ask me if my songs have been on the radio, yet. Or when will they be on? Are they naive or believers?

Anything is possible, anything. And I am grateful to the man who helped me produce the CD - he said I have a gift. Now I don't take myself TOO seriously but that was a real compliment from a real musician.

Unrelated thoughts

• I have been feeling some tension in my face between my eyebrows and remembered several years ago when a friend said I looked SO relaxed at an Xmas party, remarking my new job must be going really well. (That was after 2 Cosmos at a local bar prior to the party).

• The dogs are playing and getting along after several months of getting to know each other. I've seen the 14 year old Tia chasing Toto in the yard, barking her deaf bark. They've also been seen nuzzling each other's various parts.

• Michael wondered if he'd get swine flu after drinking out of the same cup as Daniel - YES. He brought another cup up to the bathroom but it was too late. All of us have had H1N1 except Doug.

• I remember when we settled on Michael's name before he was born and my mother-in-law asked us how we would spell that, which kind of struck me as asking how would someone spell Bob. Mikail is now 12.

• I notice my neighbor who gets v. agitated at speedy drivers when her kids are out playing, drives as fast as anyone. Ironic, no? but we do tend to see our own flaws in someone else. So what does this commentary say about me?

• I signed up for the church talent show figuring at any rate it would be something to write about. Also, I was thinking it might be inspiring to the boys - Michael and Matt are both playing the piano! I'll let you know how it goes.

I remember now

From last time the thing that set me off laughing was Doug attempting to vacuum a towel covered with Toto hair. Of course, I must have been anticipating the towel getting tangled up in the rotary mechanism - but miraculously it did not.

Speaking of hair, we've had a few hair raising experiences with hair in food in our family lore. Long blond hairs on take out pizza. Black curly hairs in a sub at a chain that I will never enter again. Of course, just the thought of these incidents is enough to nauseate me. Who needs diets? Thought control can be very powerful. While recounting one of these incidents, Michael reminded me that "Hair is in everything we eat." Nice. It doesn't bother him in the least because an adolescent boy (almost) is driven to EAT - hair or not.

Unrelated thoughts

I realize I am going to need some new pet names now that there is a boy dog in the house. No more 'Girls' or 'Little Missies' - but what's a collective nickname that's not gender based? 'How are my furry friends?' 'Hello hairballs.' You get the idea. Suggestions?

Toto proceeded to growl at trick or treaters, when he escaped from the basement where he was keeping Michael company - who has the swine flu. Anyway, I explained to one group that he was afraid of the costumes. One woman said, 'Afraid of a fairy?' Yes, sorry, even a fairy. This is one sheltered pup and we are slowly exposing him to the world.

In fact, the old man in the graveyard with the bad toupee tried to give him a biscuit and got so frustrated when Toto wouldn't come close to him and his booming voice (Is it any wonder?) After a couple tosses of biscuits, finally Toto did take a biscuit with a big snap to the man's hand.