Fried to a crisp

When I ran into an Asian friend of ours at the pool, she had her daughter practicing her swimming. When I tried such things with my own son, he refused. So I let him have fun in the pool as we intended. We have also heard tales of this same friend's son practicing tennis with his ball machine, doing his Chinese homework, practicing his piano for an hour - you name it - all before he is allowed leisure time.

It all got me thinking about about the cultural differences - do these children listen to their parents more effectively or do the parents more effectively wield their power, or both? The girl at least seemed to willingly and happily practice her swimming. The boy however does seem to resist parental authority regularly, as well as other authority.

I can think of non-Asian examples of super achievers. I have relatives who are very competitive. As a result of that atmosphere, their children will very likely get athletic scholarships to college. I always wonder if the children would choose this path or is it just that parents have so much influence and children want to please those parents?

I also notice friends of ours whose incomes have increased by leaps and bounds while ours have stayed relatively flat.

But Doug explains my envy away and says these high earners are "fried to a crisp."

Speaking of high earners, my son interviewed my father-in-law for a school project about jobs. He excelled as a student and in the business world and told Michael he has no regrets . . .hard for me to imagine, but isn't that something? No regrets. He did the best he possibly could.

I guess with all these examples I feel remiss (competitive me) that the kids won't reach their potential or I won't/haven't reached mine and never will. Is pushing, focusing, and practicing the answer or will the result be - fried to a crisp?

I guess I wish I'd really focused on something when I was young - tennis, academics, music - but I didn't. I don't want them to have the same regrets.

Perhaps that's what those parents/earners are doing - going for it or having their kids go for it. Is it worth it? I always think balance is important and that's why playing outside was important to me even if I had a big test the next day - I consciously remember thinking an A-/B+ was worth not killing myself for an A+..

Coincidentally? while writing this, I ran into my Asian friend, again at the pool, while waiting for my son's swim lesson. So I asked her about the cultural differences. She suggested bribing the children :] or simply suggesting a bright future. They will choose this she assured me - the bright future. She acknowledged that Asians push their kids more and she has noticed that Americans seem to regret not sticking with things. Ah ha. Still I didn't get any real clear insights into the Asian philosophy and the language barrier didn't help. But Doug says the Chinese won't give away their secrets. . .

Spring thoughts

• "I just love the fresh air" Daniel said when getting out of the car on a breezy day - only he said it much more eloquently than that.
• Matt wore shorts to school before it was remotely warm by sneaking them under his sweatpants