While you were gone

This note was left by the phone for me after Doug and I returned from an outing. The older boys were in charge of babysitting while we were out - though Michael was still asleep when we left, so Matt was really the primary babysitter.

What Matt did while you were gone

-Watch TV and eat multiple servings of breakfast
-Bully Daniel into playing Truth or Dare
-Put a frog in the microwave
-Watched a gory movie

This note was forged by Michael to replace the original note, which follows.

What Matt did while you were gone

-Spread leaves over garden
-Fed Daniel
-Unloaded dishwasher
-Loaded dishwasher
-Pretended to have an interest for Daniel's half hour story on ninjas; trust me IT WAS BORING
-Then watched Daniel's war movie to make him think we shared a common interest in war.

What Michael did sleep!!

This humorous competition had me laughing.

Unrelated thoughts

• Daniel was pretending he was his teacher at school the other day. He was telling his friend he would get a yellow slip for such and such an infraction when that friend (age 6) promptly stuck out his middle finger. Daniel told this story like he was horrified and he was v. confused when I started laughing.

• Don't ya just hate those women that don't eat? I remember commenting to a neighbor on her weight loss and then commenting on my own steady state. In regard to my steady state she asked 'What is the issue (for you) - snacking, portion control, more exercise?' YES ALL OF THOSE.

• My mother called me on my birthday but forgot to wish me happy birthday - instead she launched into some elixir I was to go buy at the health food store that would help my sore throat. Her last several calls have involved similar themes: 'Are you still using aluminum pots for cooking?', information about beef recalls, and fluoride concerns - 'Are the boys still using fluoride toothpaste? Well, I hope they are spitting it out.' You see, I have my very own health protection officer.

• I remember a joke that went bad - a close friend was turning 69 and I bought her a small bottle of Old Grand Dad with a note that said '69 and a little Old Grand Dad just seem to go together.' Needless to say, she didn't think it was as funny as I did and kind of gave me a confused glare when she read the card. Kudos to Doug for saying 'Are you sure you want to do that' before the gift giving.

• Daniel thought he had teeth in his poop the other day. I tried to get him to remember what we had for dinner the night before - corn.

• Speaking of poop - my mother seemed horrified at the reality of wiping my father's backside. He is getting v. feeble and immobile with Parkinson's . . . .