No more fun and games

Before and after shots of our 3 plus months together.

Here are the pictures I promised a while ago of Daniel and I after our time together.

See how paunchy and pudgy we were in the before shots and see how muscular, fit and happy we are

in the after shots. It was a beautiful few months and now it's back to reality. I remember I wrote in my blog

how this quiet life was quietly becoming facinating. Well it's quiet no more.

I've decided rather quickly that working is good or bad depending on how you look at it. Bad in that I am no where near as relaxed as I was. Bad in that I have less time for fun things. I rarely cook anymore (good or bad?). I used to cook the kids breakfast and make pizza on Friday nights. You see in a way by working I treat myself more because time is more precious - by buying pizza for example. Daniel doesn't come on the walks anymore (good or bad?). I am less anal about my new car and specks of dirt that accumulate on the floor mats. I am less anal in general because I simply don't have time. For example, Toto pooped all over the living room rug one night after Doug gave him copious amounts of left over salmon skin and a pan to lick. This didn't really bother me in the slightest, though Doug did clean up the mess. Could that have had something to do with it?

Good or bad? The frickin pay is GOOD. I am telling you when the payroll clerk told me the amount of my first check for 2 weeks work I almost dropped the phone. The take home pay is more than 3 times what I was bringing home at the newspaper. So that is GOOD. And I have promptly planned a few excursions so that money doesn't burn a hole in the bank account. Doug and I will go to Bermuda for my cousins wedding in May and the whole famdamily will go to the Everglades and Keys this April! It's not cheap to buy airline tickets for five or even two people these days. So the extra cash will help ease the strain.

Also after being unemployed, it's good to be employed and I do like having work colleagues again. But my creative pursuits are suffering.

Unrelated thoughts:

• I don't necessarily like being this busy. I used to think my creative impulses would flow when I was really busy. Now I don't necessarily think so. I think slower might be better for creative pursuits. But this one gem did come to me in the midst of my new job frenzy. In fact I was going to compose a whole list of things my mother taught me but only this one came to mind:

If you spill milk and wipe it up with the sponge, you have to rinse out the sponge or it will really smell.

I must have neglected to rinse out the sponge as a girl and remember her telling me this in the kitchen like it was very important.

• My mother now brings a picture of her grandmother, Grandma Hill, around with her when she travels. She says it's her guardian angel to help her when she forgets things. It's actually really cute - she places the framed photo on her dressing table to look over her.

• As unsettling at times as this new job has been (it's an adjustment) - because 40 hours is 40 hours. I do feel that my guardian angel (my deceased friend Helen) is providing me with this excellent work opportunity somehow. The job literally fell into my lap. It's also made me realize this is how people who work feel - stressed and busy. It's given me some empathy insight.

• Has anybody out there seen the Wrestler?? Pretty good movie.