Graveyard Shift

Years ago I used to run into a woman in the graveyard while walking our mutual dogs. She was on the very early shift like me, before I went to my soul killing job at NOAA. I found out she was a professor at GSO. I would see her and her dog Butterscotch regularly and could easily recognized the dog. Well one morning Butterscotch was being walked by an elderly gentleman – so the next time I saw her I said “I saw your father walking your dog.” For God’s sake, the guy looked to by about 70 and she was high 30s tops. “Oh that was my husband,” she said. Gulp. “Oh I don’t see that well with these glasses………….blah, blah, blah.” As I tried to cover myself, she explained that he was indeed OLDER.

Come to the present, a few years later. I see the Professor woman (who I haven’t seen for years) walking with Butterscotch and an older gentleman with a lab-type dog. “Oh, you got a new dog?” “No, that’s my father’s dog. He is visiting.” Gulp. You see I was very careful but not careful enough. Apparently her father and husband are about the same age and I sure can’t tell the difference. Perhaps I need to keep my mouth shut. What a nice looking dog!

Last week, I was walking our angelic dog Buster, who doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. We encountered a young woman I didn’t recognize walking Scragglepus. Now I don’t know this dog’s real name but I recognized the dog as one that regularly snarls and growls at me jogging or launches itself at Buster. Luckily, Scragglepus was on a leash but nevertheless, he lunged at Buster in an aggressive manner. I said to the young woman, he is always aggressive with my dog. She replied, “He is always aggressive on the leash!” This is not a friendly dog and I didn’t explain to her that we have encountered him many times off the leash (he wanders over to the graveyard to harass) and he is equally aggressive.

SO I walked on minding my own business and keeping Buster close. As we walked by them again, she called out in a fairly smarmy tone, “Have a great rest of your day!” I said, “O.K.” I wasn’t about to say thank you, no sir. And then I remembered. This woman was the hall monitor or some such thing when my son Matthew was in kindergarten. And he was very upset with her. She was bullying him and insisting that he put his coat on, when they waited outside on the blacktop, whether he wanted to or not. One day, I went down when he was in line and confronted her. “If he doesn’t want to put his coat on he doesn’t have to.” She was obnoxious then and is obnoxious to this day and so is her little dog too. Think Toto with the witch in the Wizard of Oz. Some people don’t change. That personality is set. Unfortunately this young woman is also fat and I felt like telling her “You have an awful personality and you are fat!” But I didn’t. It would fall on deaf ears. You know how people say, “So and so has a really nice personality” and you immediately know they are not good looking. Scragglepus and Scragglegirl both have bad personalities and are not attractive either. A lose lose situation. Double whammy. Is it really better to light a candle rather than rail against the darkness. Perhaps next time I’ll try a little kindness. What a nice dog! Ha!