I like to think of myself as a pretty coordinated person but the fall couldn't have been pretty. Though I didn't actually see it I felt it and that feeling was utter helplessness.
After dutifully preparing the dog's dinner, I proceeded to carry her bowl outside and down the ramp. My feet slid out from under me and my elbows, head, ankles (somehow) all hit the deck very hard. To add insult to injury, the dog food was spilled all over my hair. (My head ached so much the next day or two - I couldn't even rest it on the headrest in the car.)
I know what you are thinking. Why didn't she just call the dog and feed her inside or up on the deck. The dog can no longer hear well at all and we have to go find her at feeding time.
After the fall, I lay momentarily stunned and then rolled off the bottom of the ramp to the grass where I cried. My body hurt. I actually was imobilized due to the pain. Also, I was feeling sorry for myself. No one apparently heard the crash. Thus no one rushed to my rescue.
I told the story to a few people for sympathy and got a little. The black marks on my elbows are slowly fading and you bet your bottom dollar I won't go out in my socks again.
My friend Nan said if I died out there someone would have noticed when the dog started bringing in body parts. Very funny. I think someone might have noticed when I wasn't around to cook dinner. We're hungry, where's Mom?
More deck news
The latest project is painting the deck and though I wanted to rent a power washer because I thought it would be fun, I also realize renting things costs money. And since I am not working, I relied on bleach powder, bleach, a scrub brush on a handle and the hose. I will take a picture for you of the finished project.
Just back from the graveyard walk and I met a nice lady with a cocker spaniel with all sorts of problems - according to her. Bad breeding means he's deaf at age seven and has lots of allergies. He kept rubbing his butt on the ground. But he has a sweet personality and that counts for alot.
Blog bog due to puppy search
I keep getting diverted on the computer looking for puppies. AND yes Doug was about to kill me but also relieved. When you start a sentence "I have to confess" and you were only looking at dogs on the Internet, well, things could be worse.
Anyway the nice lady in the graveyard with the Wickford sweatshirt said I could find a Labradoodle or poodle mix on-line. So we'll see. She also wondered why she hadn't seen me before. You see all the graveyard dog walkers know each other. I told her we had an elderly dog who recently died but couldn't walk when alive, I was recently layed off, and now I am walking the remaining dog again.
When I was explaining to her that I thought poodles where weird she was not judgemental in the least but rather said something like "It's good to know what you like." Yes it is. Yes it is. It's also good to know what you want and I want to get another dog/puppy. Help.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The fall
Next time: How I proceeded to fall down this dog ramp, hit my head, elbows, ankles, and spill dog food all over my hair. I could have died, and no one would notice.Walks and rambles: Whores in the graveyard
Today is Daniel’s last day of “school” until fall. I will be with him all summer as well as the other two boys when school gets out in a month or so.
We’ve fallen into our routine but he reminded me yesterday “We’re not going to go on a walk everyday when I’m home.” It’s been really fun – he rides his bike and I walk the dog. Yesterday, he made a literal beeline and changed our route to follow a real-live human (other than me). He caught up to the woman on his bike and started chatting away. It turns out we’ve seen her around – she works in the bookstore in town and has a HUGE yellow lab. This lab is twice as wide as our Tia and consequently we found out Ruby also weights twice as much. We also found out the bookstore in the “mall” isn’t doing too well and people keep telling her “I hope you don’t close.” And she tells them “Come in and buy some books.” The books haven’t been selling and they are hoping things pick up for summer.
As we were exiting the graveyard Daniel found more humans by the goats. He talked to the little girl who gave his some grass for the goats. She told him they like grass and yes, they do bite. He gave her a “lucky” penny that I found on the walk.
I seem to find coins almost daily when I am out walking. And in my excitement and surprise say something like “Look what I found.” Then of course Daniel says, “Can I have it.” And I give it to him hoping the universe will reward me in the future. Plus, we are not talking a lot of money here . . .
After that it was off to the Dollar Tree store – which by the way is filled with crap from China. It’s way WORSE than Job Lot, if you haven’t been, you actually don’t need to bother. But Daniel had $2.50 burning a hole in his pocket and had that money spent in about ten seconds. In fact, right inside the door he deposited those coins for a gum ball and a necklace (if you could call it that). That left $2 for two items – but he forgot about the tax and I ponied up 14 cents. He kept the change – I see a theme here.
Other funny things happened in the last day or two:
Michael didn’t know he was going to the state track meet and didn’t bring his clothes to school, so consequently he ran in his pants. He has actually done this before. And Doug told him he could probably take seconds off his time just by the simple act of wearing shorts. Anyway, I told him if he was an Indian boy he would have acquired the name “The Boy who runs in khakis” or “The Boy who runs in chinos” by now.
Doug brought his exercise ball to work to sit on and he left the house extra early so co-workers wouldn’t see him pumping it up. He said he lasted about 1.5 hours on the ball – because it’s tiring and takes work. I wondered if he would still feel like he was moving at the end of the day – like when you’ve been on a boat all day. He was lying up in bed at 5:00 p.m. and I wondered if that exercise ball had done tired him out.
We met a man in the graveyard on Monday who fed Tia biscuits. And he said he finds lots of whores in the graveyard . . . well I didn’t realize what he was talking about for a minute or so and was picturing high school students getting it on in the bushes but what he meant was he has biscuits for all the dogs. He is very friendly but wears a very bad hairpiece and I can see where those acquired the RUG moniker. I could see a heavy seam and stitching where a part would be.
I’ve been recording music and really got a little lazy regarding some of the more difficult guitar parts. I asked my producer/professional musician friend to fix a couple parts – the album is almost ready! Let it breathe. Anyway, he was having difficulty and told me I have a quirky way of playing, almost like my own dialect. So, he was having great difficulty matching my guitar parts. I guess being unique has its plusses and minuses.
I just wrote this excellent, bluesy, fun song – She got so skinny, her teeth look big (I want some meat on the bone). Coming soon!
We’ve fallen into our routine but he reminded me yesterday “We’re not going to go on a walk everyday when I’m home.” It’s been really fun – he rides his bike and I walk the dog. Yesterday, he made a literal beeline and changed our route to follow a real-live human (other than me). He caught up to the woman on his bike and started chatting away. It turns out we’ve seen her around – she works in the bookstore in town and has a HUGE yellow lab. This lab is twice as wide as our Tia and consequently we found out Ruby also weights twice as much. We also found out the bookstore in the “mall” isn’t doing too well and people keep telling her “I hope you don’t close.” And she tells them “Come in and buy some books.” The books haven’t been selling and they are hoping things pick up for summer.
As we were exiting the graveyard Daniel found more humans by the goats. He talked to the little girl who gave his some grass for the goats. She told him they like grass and yes, they do bite. He gave her a “lucky” penny that I found on the walk.
I seem to find coins almost daily when I am out walking. And in my excitement and surprise say something like “Look what I found.” Then of course Daniel says, “Can I have it.” And I give it to him hoping the universe will reward me in the future. Plus, we are not talking a lot of money here . . .
After that it was off to the Dollar Tree store – which by the way is filled with crap from China. It’s way WORSE than Job Lot, if you haven’t been, you actually don’t need to bother. But Daniel had $2.50 burning a hole in his pocket and had that money spent in about ten seconds. In fact, right inside the door he deposited those coins for a gum ball and a necklace (if you could call it that). That left $2 for two items – but he forgot about the tax and I ponied up 14 cents. He kept the change – I see a theme here.
Other funny things happened in the last day or two:
Michael didn’t know he was going to the state track meet and didn’t bring his clothes to school, so consequently he ran in his pants. He has actually done this before. And Doug told him he could probably take seconds off his time just by the simple act of wearing shorts. Anyway, I told him if he was an Indian boy he would have acquired the name “The Boy who runs in khakis” or “The Boy who runs in chinos” by now.
Doug brought his exercise ball to work to sit on and he left the house extra early so co-workers wouldn’t see him pumping it up. He said he lasted about 1.5 hours on the ball – because it’s tiring and takes work. I wondered if he would still feel like he was moving at the end of the day – like when you’ve been on a boat all day. He was lying up in bed at 5:00 p.m. and I wondered if that exercise ball had done tired him out.
We met a man in the graveyard on Monday who fed Tia biscuits. And he said he finds lots of whores in the graveyard . . . well I didn’t realize what he was talking about for a minute or so and was picturing high school students getting it on in the bushes but what he meant was he has biscuits for all the dogs. He is very friendly but wears a very bad hairpiece and I can see where those acquired the RUG moniker. I could see a heavy seam and stitching where a part would be.
I’ve been recording music and really got a little lazy regarding some of the more difficult guitar parts. I asked my producer/professional musician friend to fix a couple parts – the album is almost ready! Let it breathe. Anyway, he was having difficulty and told me I have a quirky way of playing, almost like my own dialect. So, he was having great difficulty matching my guitar parts. I guess being unique has its plusses and minuses.
I just wrote this excellent, bluesy, fun song – She got so skinny, her teeth look big (I want some meat on the bone). Coming soon!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Who likes kid behavior?
Well, we ran into an acquaintance, but now I’ll call her a friend, at a local bar. No we are not bar rats but do go out on occaision, especially after our weekly mixed doubles league. Anyway, this acquaintance from almost 20 years ago and I have crossed paths over the years – we had a friend in common. She works in town at the chocolate store, so I see her around holidays when I am buying chocolate for distant relatives. Sweenor’s will even mail the chocolate for you if you want.
At the bar that night, somehow the topic of kids came up. She doesn’t have any and doesn’t want any – she may be too old anyway. That’s fine I told her, people who don’t want kids shouldn’t have kids because it’s the thing to do. But her real reason for not having kids wasn’t necessarily philosophical – she just didn’t like them or to clarify, she said she didn’t like kid behavior. Though she added, obviously she was a kid once herself. Weren’t we all, weren’t we all.
I didn’t comment at the time, but I wondered if anyone likes, enjoys, relishes bratty kid behavior. Not me. And my five-year-old knows exactly when he can get away with it and he turns it on in these moments to draw attention to himself. If grandma and I are talking, he’ll continuously interrupt or pull on my arm because he knows I don’t want to get too strict with him in front of grandma. When coaching his soccer team, he will pout and cry or even sit out when he knows I really can’t focus on him with 10 other children to manage.
So, new friend I don’t think anyone really likes kid behavior, though there are some awfully cute moments to balance out the bad ones. People have children partially because it’s what we’re programmed to do, partially because society dictates it.
Personally, I do feel a great sense of accomplishment and pride when I look at my children. They test you and push you to your limits like nothing else.
Growing up, I never thought about children and never even discussed it with my husband to be. After marriage, we decided to try and after a very difficult birth, had two more children. Why? I don’t exactly know.
But there’s no turning back now. And the thing about kid behavior, you can keep it to a minimum with discipline. Ever watched Super Nanny? The other thing is children do grow up and out of kid behavior. I was a girl once . . . I know.
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It took about six weeks or so but I am definitely settling into this unemployment thing – except when I look at my checkbook balance. But it’s all good. I have accomplished a lot including numerous household projects I wouldn’t have batted an eye at while working. My anger over the layoff has dissipated and I have the luxury to think about what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Oh there’s lots I want to do. Get in a writing group. Take sailing lessons. Learn to knit. Get a PhD in something. Improve my tennis and musical skills. But alas there is only so much time and only so many nights I can be out due to family considerations.
You see family comes first. And I know that. These boys are growing like weeds and when I have too much time on my hands I can learn to knit and sail and be in one of those writing groups with other little old ladies.
I can also start a rock band called The Grandmas. We will all wear colorful, Chuck Taylor high tops and have the time of our lives.
Seriously, I have some time to do things now and some money but I feel needed at home.
A woman I was chatting with at a soccer game recently said she always felt when she had time, she had no money to do anything and when she had no time, she had money. Kinda makes sense.
Wouldn’t it be great to do whatever you want, when you want. That’s my goal, within reason.
Once this unemployment fades, I would love to have a job with enough money and enough flexibility to keep me happy.
At the bar that night, somehow the topic of kids came up. She doesn’t have any and doesn’t want any – she may be too old anyway. That’s fine I told her, people who don’t want kids shouldn’t have kids because it’s the thing to do. But her real reason for not having kids wasn’t necessarily philosophical – she just didn’t like them or to clarify, she said she didn’t like kid behavior. Though she added, obviously she was a kid once herself. Weren’t we all, weren’t we all.
I didn’t comment at the time, but I wondered if anyone likes, enjoys, relishes bratty kid behavior. Not me. And my five-year-old knows exactly when he can get away with it and he turns it on in these moments to draw attention to himself. If grandma and I are talking, he’ll continuously interrupt or pull on my arm because he knows I don’t want to get too strict with him in front of grandma. When coaching his soccer team, he will pout and cry or even sit out when he knows I really can’t focus on him with 10 other children to manage.
So, new friend I don’t think anyone really likes kid behavior, though there are some awfully cute moments to balance out the bad ones. People have children partially because it’s what we’re programmed to do, partially because society dictates it.
Personally, I do feel a great sense of accomplishment and pride when I look at my children. They test you and push you to your limits like nothing else.
Growing up, I never thought about children and never even discussed it with my husband to be. After marriage, we decided to try and after a very difficult birth, had two more children. Why? I don’t exactly know.
But there’s no turning back now. And the thing about kid behavior, you can keep it to a minimum with discipline. Ever watched Super Nanny? The other thing is children do grow up and out of kid behavior. I was a girl once . . . I know.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It took about six weeks or so but I am definitely settling into this unemployment thing – except when I look at my checkbook balance. But it’s all good. I have accomplished a lot including numerous household projects I wouldn’t have batted an eye at while working. My anger over the layoff has dissipated and I have the luxury to think about what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Oh there’s lots I want to do. Get in a writing group. Take sailing lessons. Learn to knit. Get a PhD in something. Improve my tennis and musical skills. But alas there is only so much time and only so many nights I can be out due to family considerations.
You see family comes first. And I know that. These boys are growing like weeds and when I have too much time on my hands I can learn to knit and sail and be in one of those writing groups with other little old ladies.
I can also start a rock band called The Grandmas. We will all wear colorful, Chuck Taylor high tops and have the time of our lives.
Seriously, I have some time to do things now and some money but I feel needed at home.
A woman I was chatting with at a soccer game recently said she always felt when she had time, she had no money to do anything and when she had no time, she had money. Kinda makes sense.
Wouldn’t it be great to do whatever you want, when you want. That’s my goal, within reason.
Once this unemployment fades, I would love to have a job with enough money and enough flexibility to keep me happy.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Perks of working at a newspaper
It’s ironic, no?, that I had just written a column about all the perks of working at a newspaper (though it was never published) and a week or so later I was unceremoniously laid off.
The perk column went something like this:
You certainly don’t work at a newspaper for the pay but there are a number of perks that people may not be aware of. For instance, it’s the only place I’ve worked where you can legitimately read the newspaper at work. And you will not get scolded for this. You have to read other people’s newspapers to see what stories you might have missed and you have to read your own newspaper to make sure everything came out error-free.
If you like children, the newspaper can be a rewarding place to work. I say this because co-workers would often bring their children into work – because they don’t get paid enough to afford a babysitter. While the kids could be a bit of a distraction I think it was really because they were bored out of their minds and needed something constructive to do. Actually, combining the enterprises of a newspaper and a daycare might bring in some much-needed profits, while at the same time the youngsters could learn a trade at a young age. I know for example at my paper we hadn’t had a copy editor since the dark ages. Children could be trained for this job as well as selling advertisements and soliciting subscriptions. Who could say no to a kid?
Another unexpected perk of working at the paper was that I had my very own ant farm right under my desk. I am not kidding. There was a trail of ten or so ants that would come out from the cracks in the linoleum – probably searching for my muffin crumbs. I will miss them and they will miss me. Somebody please feed them.
Furthermore, when I worked at the paper I didn’t suffer from car envy and in fact I didn’t have to think about getting a new car at all. Though my car was over 12 years old, starting to rust, and sometimes smoky, it was by far not the worst car sitting in the newspaper parking lot. I could put my car envy aside and get some use out of that old clunker a little longer.
But seriously, one of the biggest perks of working at the paper was that I was rarely if ever bored. You certainly can’t say that about every job. It was also the only place I’ve worked where you could use humor on a regular basis. Humorous columns, humorous editorials, humorous headlines – you get the idea. Likewise, I will miss my witty co-workers.
But these perks all pale in comparison to the best and greatest perk of all of working at a newspaper – they laid me off. I am now free of the tyranny – the tyranny of the continuous piling on and on of more and more duties until the editor is downright worn into the ground and dies. Another laid off editor said the industry would have killed me. I was lucky to get out.
Now it’s hard to feel lucky when you get laid off and people tell me things happen for a reason. What that reason is I may never know but I do know this has left me wondering if anyone other than the ants will notice that I am gone.
The perk column went something like this:
You certainly don’t work at a newspaper for the pay but there are a number of perks that people may not be aware of. For instance, it’s the only place I’ve worked where you can legitimately read the newspaper at work. And you will not get scolded for this. You have to read other people’s newspapers to see what stories you might have missed and you have to read your own newspaper to make sure everything came out error-free.
If you like children, the newspaper can be a rewarding place to work. I say this because co-workers would often bring their children into work – because they don’t get paid enough to afford a babysitter. While the kids could be a bit of a distraction I think it was really because they were bored out of their minds and needed something constructive to do. Actually, combining the enterprises of a newspaper and a daycare might bring in some much-needed profits, while at the same time the youngsters could learn a trade at a young age. I know for example at my paper we hadn’t had a copy editor since the dark ages. Children could be trained for this job as well as selling advertisements and soliciting subscriptions. Who could say no to a kid?
Another unexpected perk of working at the paper was that I had my very own ant farm right under my desk. I am not kidding. There was a trail of ten or so ants that would come out from the cracks in the linoleum – probably searching for my muffin crumbs. I will miss them and they will miss me. Somebody please feed them.
Furthermore, when I worked at the paper I didn’t suffer from car envy and in fact I didn’t have to think about getting a new car at all. Though my car was over 12 years old, starting to rust, and sometimes smoky, it was by far not the worst car sitting in the newspaper parking lot. I could put my car envy aside and get some use out of that old clunker a little longer.
But seriously, one of the biggest perks of working at the paper was that I was rarely if ever bored. You certainly can’t say that about every job. It was also the only place I’ve worked where you could use humor on a regular basis. Humorous columns, humorous editorials, humorous headlines – you get the idea. Likewise, I will miss my witty co-workers.
But these perks all pale in comparison to the best and greatest perk of all of working at a newspaper – they laid me off. I am now free of the tyranny – the tyranny of the continuous piling on and on of more and more duties until the editor is downright worn into the ground and dies. Another laid off editor said the industry would have killed me. I was lucky to get out.
Now it’s hard to feel lucky when you get laid off and people tell me things happen for a reason. What that reason is I may never know but I do know this has left me wondering if anyone other than the ants will notice that I am gone.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Will I be missed?
When I told my neighbor that I was starting a blog he immediately asked me if there was any money in that. No. But then again you never know. Hey I have to occupy myself somehow and have a regular outlet for my writing now that am I fully encapsulated in the life of an unemployed mom. And I know people have noticed my absence from the travel lanes. I used to regularly cross paths with one friend at the swimming pool for my 7 a.m. swim. One morning I showed up early again (my husband covered kid duty) and he immediately asked me “Where have you been?” I explained that I was laid off, I was O.K. with that, and I was still coming to the pool, albeit later. So now he knows why he doesn’t see me anymore. He said I kept wondering “Where that girl went.” You see this is why I love him – I am 43 afterall.
But I used to walk to work. Do the crossing guards notice my absence? I bet they do but they are not calling me a girl. Instead they are wondering where that middle aged lady is who used to walk to work with her red bag. I should take that route too one day before school lets out to say hello to my three acquaintances and let them know why they don’t see me anymore. Or do they care? In any event, it might inspire a column or blog entry or both.
Yes my life has gotten simpler but it’s amazing how you fill the time. Now I have time to get the donuts for Michael’s spring breakfast. Now I have time to go look for the clothes he left after the track meet (and I found them in a mushy pile under the bleachers). Now I have time to swing by the library and drop off the kid’s books - daily. I have time but it’s a strange thing – at times I feel my time is as occupied as before and at times I feel a sense of loneliness when I am home by myself. I guess I’m still adjusting to the unemployed status.
And I’d love to make some cash. People keep suggesting freelance writing so perhaps I’ll have to get back into that.
There are some significant painting chores I can take on if this soggy weather ever dries out – the front porch, the back deck, and numerous window frames.
There are squirrels to deal with. Yes squirrels. After hoeing and planting a full row of peas, I saw the squirrel out there the next day. When I went to investigate – I found holes all along my row. Damn that squirrel. Makes me wonder about the futility of planting the big old garden out back. The varmits have numbers and I am only one. But my husband Doug is talking about getting a pellet gun.
Yes, my world has gotten smaller. My haunts are the library, the pool, and the car for picking up children. I had The Devil Wears Prada on my return pile and my five-year-old son asked me if he had seen it. When I said no, he asked if he could. It’s for older people. “Does it have kissing in it,” he wondered. A little bit. He said he thought he was ready for that. Hmmm.
Sprucing up the house
Oh yes. Besides working on my tan and my tennis game I am tacking household chores full throttle. And I don’t mean ordinary, everyday woman chores. I mean handywoman chores. In the past few weeks I have successfully caulked around the tubs (harder than it sounds), lowered a curtain rod, painted the walls around newly installed windows, and most recently painted the front porch. Yes. I felt so proud of myself because it looks damn good and I am learning new skills. I even said to my husband maybe for my next job I’ll be a handywoman.
First off, I had to clean the porch with bleach powder and lots of elbow grease. Next I applied a bleach solution that I let sit for a day and then I rinsed it off. I bought myself a big old stain brush and stained away. It looks so good I have to go get some white trim paint and touch that up too.
Next I will tackle the back deck. Now I wanted to paint the window frames (we bought new windows a while back) but my husband seemed very leary about my ability. He had primed them and I only had to paint one side. He wasn’t ready to let me paint those but when I suggested we do it together he seemed more eager. So it’s the back deck for now and I see a power washer in my future. The neighbor has one so I might ask to borrow it or I might just rent one. See new skills. I’ve already read that you don’t want to set the pressure too high or the wood will ‘fuzz.’ You can paint over stain but you can’t stain over paint. Makes sense. So speaking of extra cash – if anyone out there needs their deck or porch painted or stained, I’m your gal. And I’ll give you a good rate if you pay me in cash.
The day I painted the porch – I was also on Daniel duty. Are you ready for some action? Besides a couple hours for painting, our day involved a bike ride/walk (the dog and I walked), a trip to the playground/library, tennis, a trip to the paint store, a lunch stop at Subway, and baseball in the backyard. When he asked for me to take him swimming, I said another day this week. He and I were both a little tired and I slept well that night.
In fact, the next day I was even a little sore.
All this activity may be my answer to losing ten pounds. I can discipline myself somewhat eating-wise to lose a little weight but I am better at ramping up the activity. As one of Daniel’s daycare teachers said, “You will be in the best shape of your life.”
I should take a before and after picture – before with desk job and after spending four months with the boys. It could be dramatic.
But I used to walk to work. Do the crossing guards notice my absence? I bet they do but they are not calling me a girl. Instead they are wondering where that middle aged lady is who used to walk to work with her red bag. I should take that route too one day before school lets out to say hello to my three acquaintances and let them know why they don’t see me anymore. Or do they care? In any event, it might inspire a column or blog entry or both.
Yes my life has gotten simpler but it’s amazing how you fill the time. Now I have time to get the donuts for Michael’s spring breakfast. Now I have time to go look for the clothes he left after the track meet (and I found them in a mushy pile under the bleachers). Now I have time to swing by the library and drop off the kid’s books - daily. I have time but it’s a strange thing – at times I feel my time is as occupied as before and at times I feel a sense of loneliness when I am home by myself. I guess I’m still adjusting to the unemployed status.
And I’d love to make some cash. People keep suggesting freelance writing so perhaps I’ll have to get back into that.
There are some significant painting chores I can take on if this soggy weather ever dries out – the front porch, the back deck, and numerous window frames.
There are squirrels to deal with. Yes squirrels. After hoeing and planting a full row of peas, I saw the squirrel out there the next day. When I went to investigate – I found holes all along my row. Damn that squirrel. Makes me wonder about the futility of planting the big old garden out back. The varmits have numbers and I am only one. But my husband Doug is talking about getting a pellet gun.
Yes, my world has gotten smaller. My haunts are the library, the pool, and the car for picking up children. I had The Devil Wears Prada on my return pile and my five-year-old son asked me if he had seen it. When I said no, he asked if he could. It’s for older people. “Does it have kissing in it,” he wondered. A little bit. He said he thought he was ready for that. Hmmm.
Sprucing up the house
Oh yes. Besides working on my tan and my tennis game I am tacking household chores full throttle. And I don’t mean ordinary, everyday woman chores. I mean handywoman chores. In the past few weeks I have successfully caulked around the tubs (harder than it sounds), lowered a curtain rod, painted the walls around newly installed windows, and most recently painted the front porch. Yes. I felt so proud of myself because it looks damn good and I am learning new skills. I even said to my husband maybe for my next job I’ll be a handywoman.
First off, I had to clean the porch with bleach powder and lots of elbow grease. Next I applied a bleach solution that I let sit for a day and then I rinsed it off. I bought myself a big old stain brush and stained away. It looks so good I have to go get some white trim paint and touch that up too.
Next I will tackle the back deck. Now I wanted to paint the window frames (we bought new windows a while back) but my husband seemed very leary about my ability. He had primed them and I only had to paint one side. He wasn’t ready to let me paint those but when I suggested we do it together he seemed more eager. So it’s the back deck for now and I see a power washer in my future. The neighbor has one so I might ask to borrow it or I might just rent one. See new skills. I’ve already read that you don’t want to set the pressure too high or the wood will ‘fuzz.’ You can paint over stain but you can’t stain over paint. Makes sense. So speaking of extra cash – if anyone out there needs their deck or porch painted or stained, I’m your gal. And I’ll give you a good rate if you pay me in cash.
The day I painted the porch – I was also on Daniel duty. Are you ready for some action? Besides a couple hours for painting, our day involved a bike ride/walk (the dog and I walked), a trip to the playground/library, tennis, a trip to the paint store, a lunch stop at Subway, and baseball in the backyard. When he asked for me to take him swimming, I said another day this week. He and I were both a little tired and I slept well that night.
In fact, the next day I was even a little sore.
All this activity may be my answer to losing ten pounds. I can discipline myself somewhat eating-wise to lose a little weight but I am better at ramping up the activity. As one of Daniel’s daycare teachers said, “You will be in the best shape of your life.”
I should take a before and after picture – before with desk job and after spending four months with the boys. It could be dramatic.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The unemployment blues?
A co-worker called to say he was sorry, sorry I got laid off. He also said it was stupid. Stupid indeed.
I am still sorting through my feelings about the whole incident. First off, it wasn’t handled well. As I wasn’t in the office, a manager, who was not even my boss, called to tell me. They didn’t even have the courtesy to tell me in person.
This manager had the uneviable position to be the bearer of bad news. He also said he was my friend and to let him know if I needed anything. I really can’t blame him. Initially I was very upset. Why? Why me? And what about all the extra work I had been doing – chipping in to lay out another paper. Didn’t that count for something? And what about the fact that I was more competent and had more longevity than some of the employees they retained? As you can see, that sorrow shortly turned to anger and even as soon as the next day, I began to grow more peaceful about the situation. Being laid-off, I was certainly better off than those left behind on the sinking ship with more duties i.e. someone had to do my work.
Yes I was better off. Afterall, I would be able to collect unemployment and I was through with a truly shitty company. One that just kept piling on more and more duties without compensation. It’s a newspaper company, so this is probably not much of a surprise. In addition to treating the employees like shit, the pay was even shittier. So I was done with them. I had wanted to leave for a long time and I was done. I received my wish. A neighbor said, “Things happen for a reason.” My reason was to get out of there and find a more worthwhile job – worthy of my time and talents.
Still what would I do? Well, initially I actually filled up the car with gas and went grocery shopping. As my husband said, “We still have to eat.” I took this as a good sign of my resilence – life goes on. Next, I would collect unemployment for six months (or more depending on the stimulus money in depressed states like Rhode Island). I would be home with my sons for spring and summer vacation – saving money we would have spent on summer camp. See money wasn’t so much the issue – it was more a question of what would I do?
Work gave me a purpose and somewhere to go each day. It would take time to sort out a new agenda and purpose while I was now a stay at home mom. I realized I felt like I had to be accomplishing something all the time and that was the first thing that had to go. I would try to exercise daily. I would re-connect with friends. I would regain some peace.
My husband said I was a happier person after day two of my lay off. Indeed, I felt happier and more in the moment.
I would try to write daily – at least one column a day – even if it never was going to be published. (That would be an adjustment, as I had no regular outlet for my writing - except I do now and it's called a blog). I would try to follow my joy and enjoy myself. I started making myself nice breakfasts and elaborate salads for lunch. I started watching less TV. I was getting more sleep.
Still there were looming questions like ‘How would it be this summer to be home with my three boys.’ It wouldn’t necessarily be all fun but my husband said, “It will be what you make it.” So true. And isn’t that true of life in general.
So for now, I am going to try not to worry about what I will do with myself come fall or come when my unemployment runs out. I am going to try to make the best of this and enjoy every minute. Of course, if I see a job that I am eligible for, I do apply.
And then after writing the above, new feelings started to creep in. My positivity turned to slight depression. The reality of being with the boys all day left little if any time for myself and little if any time for uninterrupted writing. And the reality of being home alone until they were out of school proved a little lonely. I know, I know most people would LOVE time to themselves.
The recently laid-off, self-described corporate executive with the six-figure income who was on the Oprah show said her self-esteem had suffered with the job loss. She obviously didn’t like being a stay at home mom with her three year old. Oprah and the Jewish counselor she had on told her she was more than her six figure income. Her husband also told her she was more. . . but I understand. Oh yes we can tell ourselves we are still wonderful, capable people but you lose part of your identity when you lose your job. It will definitely be harder to be confident in interviews without a job.
A job becomes part of who you are – but I know that’s ego. If you can feel good about yourself without a job, or a man, or things – that’s the trick.
Yes confidence issues surfacing as slight hopelessness started creeping in for me. What am I going to do? Especially come Fall when the kids are back in school. There’s also some doubt about doing performing in a job because I am not actively doing it currently.
I know I need to keep writing and in the meantime get some contract work or just a little work to keep me busy. Keep your fingers crossed.
And I did indeed realize I needed something to keep me busy. I wasn’t comfortable on the couple days I had to myself idling reading or lounging. So I started completing small household projects that had been bugging me but that I had no time or desire to complete before.
First off, I took on a project around our sliding glass door. We had a replacement installed almost a year before and the walls around the edge needed painting and the curtain rod above needed lowering. The curtains were hanging a few inches off the ground. Between the spackling, sanding, painting and drilling – I got it all done in about half a day (my 5 year-old was home) and it looked damn good. I was proud of myself and realized I didn’t have to burden my husband with all of the fix up chores.
Next task – caulking the tubs. It sounds easy but like a lot of these handyman-type task, it’s all about practice. I got all the old caulk up – but it took more time than expected. Later I discovered a handy little device available at Benny’s with the perfect angle to scrape the old caulk right out of the crevasse. After loading the canister of caulk in the caulking gun, I squeezed the trigger and couldn’t get it to budge. Yikes! I almost called my husband but decided that the ¾ left in the tube must have hardened up. Since I didn’t know whether it was the gun, the caulk or me I bought what looked like a giant toothpaste-size tube of caulk at Benny’s. The directions said to push the bead of caulk in front. Well again practice makes perfect and how many tubs have I ever caulked – none in recent memory. All in all, my caulking looked pretty amateurish but passable. When I wet my finger and ran it along the bead of caulk, I seemed to do more damage.
Even with the amateur results, I felt proud. Proud of my accomplishment. When you’ve worked at a newspaper, you are regular producing products each and every week. Even though I was calming down after a few weeks, I still felt I had to accomplish something and completing all the little projects around the house that were bothering me was one way to kill two birds with one stone.
After a few painting projects, perhaps I was getting a little cocky. I was thinking of renting a power washer and re-painting the deck.
---------
It’s definitely an adjustment – becoming a stay at home mom (again) after you are laid off. One of the biggest adjustments was being home with my 5-year-old. I pulled him mostly out of his daycare as summer was approaching and to save some of that money I was no longer making. After a day or two of being home with him I was thinking that might be money well spent.
You see, he was bored. Bored with me. Bored after the constant activity and friends at school. And there were no kids home. All kids his age (that I know) were in pre-school or school themselves. And since I had been working, I had lost connections with other stay at home moms.
Solutions: we started going to the library almost daily where there were other humans to interact with. We started going to the playgrounds to find other children. He would and did talk to anyone and everyone in his starved state for company. When a car pulled up to the playground, he said “I think that girl is on my soccer team.” And he told her mom that who explained the girl didn’t play soccer. Nice try or nice pick-up line. There were girls with blond hair on his team, but not that girl. It didn’t matter, he made the connection he was seeking.
After riding our bikes to the library/playground, we rode home and I realized we still had a good six hours until brothers and other children arrived home. Errands would kills some more time. We went to the paint store for paint. We went to the AAA office for maps where he asked the man behind the counter if he could have the stuffed SpongeBob sitting on the counter. No but he had Eric talking to him all about SpongeBob.
We were near the pet store and took a tour through to look at the fish and big parrot. We went in the Dollar Store.
I had certainly forgotten – what do you do with children all day? I would have to get more creative. Besides bike rides, tennis, baseball, swimming (the woman at his day care said I would be in the best shape of my life), I realized he even liked helping with simple household chores like unloading the dishwasher. I could get a lot done with a helper over the next few months.
The unemployment journal
I all went so smoothly at first. I applied for unemployment on-line and they mailed me forms to fill out with the information I had already provided on-line (very efficient). The office was very efficient about mailing things. And then it was on to the Tele-serve system. No problem. I called in an answered questions pressing 1 for yes and 2 for no, or was it 2 for yes and 1 for no? Anyway I answered a series of questions about whether I was looking for full-time work and whether I was working etc. Next thing I know a day or two later I had two week’s worth of unemployment payments deposited in my account. Easy as pie, right?
Wrong. While I was thinking this Tele-serve system was so great, I didn’t realize it was a pain in the backside. The first time I had called on a Sunday (smart). The second time I called on a Monday morning (stupid). Now I may never know if the system was legitimately broken down or whether it was just clogged with callers on a weekday, but I kept getting a message from a cheerful automated female voice that said the system was down and to please call back later. For the next two days, I called and called without success. Would I receive my payment that week? Only when I logged onto the website did I discover the hours – 12 a.m. Sunday to 7 a.m. Monday and 5 p.m. to 7 a.m. Monday thru Friday. Yikes.
Meanwhile, on the personal front it was all a bit of an adjustment – being home without any real deadlines to accomplish anything. Though I had my goals everyday. When I was home with my five-year-old at first it was a battle of wills. I had to re-establish my authority with him. On Monday, while I walked the dog he rode his bike. And as starved for human contact as he is when he is home with me, he met a woman on the bike trail walking her two dogs. We walked with her for a while and he was right – it was nice to talk to someone else. He proclaimed it the greatest bike ride ever. One goal when I was home with him or not was to exercise daily. Another goal was not to let him watch too much TV. So we began planting the garden – well really digging up weeds and such. I showed him the trowel and explained all the plants coming up aside from the strawberries were weeds. He knew he said but dug holes looking for ants instead. Later we went to the library where we had a little more contact with non-relatives.
I am still sorting through my feelings about the whole incident. First off, it wasn’t handled well. As I wasn’t in the office, a manager, who was not even my boss, called to tell me. They didn’t even have the courtesy to tell me in person.
This manager had the uneviable position to be the bearer of bad news. He also said he was my friend and to let him know if I needed anything. I really can’t blame him. Initially I was very upset. Why? Why me? And what about all the extra work I had been doing – chipping in to lay out another paper. Didn’t that count for something? And what about the fact that I was more competent and had more longevity than some of the employees they retained? As you can see, that sorrow shortly turned to anger and even as soon as the next day, I began to grow more peaceful about the situation. Being laid-off, I was certainly better off than those left behind on the sinking ship with more duties i.e. someone had to do my work.
Yes I was better off. Afterall, I would be able to collect unemployment and I was through with a truly shitty company. One that just kept piling on more and more duties without compensation. It’s a newspaper company, so this is probably not much of a surprise. In addition to treating the employees like shit, the pay was even shittier. So I was done with them. I had wanted to leave for a long time and I was done. I received my wish. A neighbor said, “Things happen for a reason.” My reason was to get out of there and find a more worthwhile job – worthy of my time and talents.
Still what would I do? Well, initially I actually filled up the car with gas and went grocery shopping. As my husband said, “We still have to eat.” I took this as a good sign of my resilence – life goes on. Next, I would collect unemployment for six months (or more depending on the stimulus money in depressed states like Rhode Island). I would be home with my sons for spring and summer vacation – saving money we would have spent on summer camp. See money wasn’t so much the issue – it was more a question of what would I do?
Work gave me a purpose and somewhere to go each day. It would take time to sort out a new agenda and purpose while I was now a stay at home mom. I realized I felt like I had to be accomplishing something all the time and that was the first thing that had to go. I would try to exercise daily. I would re-connect with friends. I would regain some peace.
My husband said I was a happier person after day two of my lay off. Indeed, I felt happier and more in the moment.
I would try to write daily – at least one column a day – even if it never was going to be published. (That would be an adjustment, as I had no regular outlet for my writing - except I do now and it's called a blog). I would try to follow my joy and enjoy myself. I started making myself nice breakfasts and elaborate salads for lunch. I started watching less TV. I was getting more sleep.
Still there were looming questions like ‘How would it be this summer to be home with my three boys.’ It wouldn’t necessarily be all fun but my husband said, “It will be what you make it.” So true. And isn’t that true of life in general.
So for now, I am going to try not to worry about what I will do with myself come fall or come when my unemployment runs out. I am going to try to make the best of this and enjoy every minute. Of course, if I see a job that I am eligible for, I do apply.
And then after writing the above, new feelings started to creep in. My positivity turned to slight depression. The reality of being with the boys all day left little if any time for myself and little if any time for uninterrupted writing. And the reality of being home alone until they were out of school proved a little lonely. I know, I know most people would LOVE time to themselves.
The recently laid-off, self-described corporate executive with the six-figure income who was on the Oprah show said her self-esteem had suffered with the job loss. She obviously didn’t like being a stay at home mom with her three year old. Oprah and the Jewish counselor she had on told her she was more than her six figure income. Her husband also told her she was more. . . but I understand. Oh yes we can tell ourselves we are still wonderful, capable people but you lose part of your identity when you lose your job. It will definitely be harder to be confident in interviews without a job.
A job becomes part of who you are – but I know that’s ego. If you can feel good about yourself without a job, or a man, or things – that’s the trick.
Yes confidence issues surfacing as slight hopelessness started creeping in for me. What am I going to do? Especially come Fall when the kids are back in school. There’s also some doubt about doing performing in a job because I am not actively doing it currently.
I know I need to keep writing and in the meantime get some contract work or just a little work to keep me busy. Keep your fingers crossed.
And I did indeed realize I needed something to keep me busy. I wasn’t comfortable on the couple days I had to myself idling reading or lounging. So I started completing small household projects that had been bugging me but that I had no time or desire to complete before.
First off, I took on a project around our sliding glass door. We had a replacement installed almost a year before and the walls around the edge needed painting and the curtain rod above needed lowering. The curtains were hanging a few inches off the ground. Between the spackling, sanding, painting and drilling – I got it all done in about half a day (my 5 year-old was home) and it looked damn good. I was proud of myself and realized I didn’t have to burden my husband with all of the fix up chores.
Next task – caulking the tubs. It sounds easy but like a lot of these handyman-type task, it’s all about practice. I got all the old caulk up – but it took more time than expected. Later I discovered a handy little device available at Benny’s with the perfect angle to scrape the old caulk right out of the crevasse. After loading the canister of caulk in the caulking gun, I squeezed the trigger and couldn’t get it to budge. Yikes! I almost called my husband but decided that the ¾ left in the tube must have hardened up. Since I didn’t know whether it was the gun, the caulk or me I bought what looked like a giant toothpaste-size tube of caulk at Benny’s. The directions said to push the bead of caulk in front. Well again practice makes perfect and how many tubs have I ever caulked – none in recent memory. All in all, my caulking looked pretty amateurish but passable. When I wet my finger and ran it along the bead of caulk, I seemed to do more damage.
Even with the amateur results, I felt proud. Proud of my accomplishment. When you’ve worked at a newspaper, you are regular producing products each and every week. Even though I was calming down after a few weeks, I still felt I had to accomplish something and completing all the little projects around the house that were bothering me was one way to kill two birds with one stone.
After a few painting projects, perhaps I was getting a little cocky. I was thinking of renting a power washer and re-painting the deck.
---------
It’s definitely an adjustment – becoming a stay at home mom (again) after you are laid off. One of the biggest adjustments was being home with my 5-year-old. I pulled him mostly out of his daycare as summer was approaching and to save some of that money I was no longer making. After a day or two of being home with him I was thinking that might be money well spent.
You see, he was bored. Bored with me. Bored after the constant activity and friends at school. And there were no kids home. All kids his age (that I know) were in pre-school or school themselves. And since I had been working, I had lost connections with other stay at home moms.
Solutions: we started going to the library almost daily where there were other humans to interact with. We started going to the playgrounds to find other children. He would and did talk to anyone and everyone in his starved state for company. When a car pulled up to the playground, he said “I think that girl is on my soccer team.” And he told her mom that who explained the girl didn’t play soccer. Nice try or nice pick-up line. There were girls with blond hair on his team, but not that girl. It didn’t matter, he made the connection he was seeking.
After riding our bikes to the library/playground, we rode home and I realized we still had a good six hours until brothers and other children arrived home. Errands would kills some more time. We went to the paint store for paint. We went to the AAA office for maps where he asked the man behind the counter if he could have the stuffed SpongeBob sitting on the counter. No but he had Eric talking to him all about SpongeBob.
We were near the pet store and took a tour through to look at the fish and big parrot. We went in the Dollar Store.
I had certainly forgotten – what do you do with children all day? I would have to get more creative. Besides bike rides, tennis, baseball, swimming (the woman at his day care said I would be in the best shape of my life), I realized he even liked helping with simple household chores like unloading the dishwasher. I could get a lot done with a helper over the next few months.
The unemployment journal
I all went so smoothly at first. I applied for unemployment on-line and they mailed me forms to fill out with the information I had already provided on-line (very efficient). The office was very efficient about mailing things. And then it was on to the Tele-serve system. No problem. I called in an answered questions pressing 1 for yes and 2 for no, or was it 2 for yes and 1 for no? Anyway I answered a series of questions about whether I was looking for full-time work and whether I was working etc. Next thing I know a day or two later I had two week’s worth of unemployment payments deposited in my account. Easy as pie, right?
Wrong. While I was thinking this Tele-serve system was so great, I didn’t realize it was a pain in the backside. The first time I had called on a Sunday (smart). The second time I called on a Monday morning (stupid). Now I may never know if the system was legitimately broken down or whether it was just clogged with callers on a weekday, but I kept getting a message from a cheerful automated female voice that said the system was down and to please call back later. For the next two days, I called and called without success. Would I receive my payment that week? Only when I logged onto the website did I discover the hours – 12 a.m. Sunday to 7 a.m. Monday and 5 p.m. to 7 a.m. Monday thru Friday. Yikes.
Meanwhile, on the personal front it was all a bit of an adjustment – being home without any real deadlines to accomplish anything. Though I had my goals everyday. When I was home with my five-year-old at first it was a battle of wills. I had to re-establish my authority with him. On Monday, while I walked the dog he rode his bike. And as starved for human contact as he is when he is home with me, he met a woman on the bike trail walking her two dogs. We walked with her for a while and he was right – it was nice to talk to someone else. He proclaimed it the greatest bike ride ever. One goal when I was home with him or not was to exercise daily. Another goal was not to let him watch too much TV. So we began planting the garden – well really digging up weeds and such. I showed him the trowel and explained all the plants coming up aside from the strawberries were weeds. He knew he said but dug holes looking for ants instead. Later we went to the library where we had a little more contact with non-relatives.
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