Rosa Penis

In another age, my mother probably would have been a computer engineer. She is the only one I know, period, who can program her DVR like its slicing room temperature butter. Before the DVR, she was a wiz at recording programs when no one I knew could figure out the goddamned  VCR.  She is amazing. Doug says it’s because it’s important to her. But if you know anyone who is 82 and can figure this out, you let me know.  This is a minor miracle and goes in the who’d a thunk it category.

 

She certainly wasn’t technical in my eyes growing up, although gourmet cooking and sewing do take some technical skills. She always seemed to know exactly how many yards of fabric to buy per window for curtains. He mathematical / geometry skills are apparently in there still.

 

We don’t even have a DVR but when we get one I can call Mom for technical assistance.

 

In addition to her DVR prowess, my mother has become very adept at butchering names. She now calls Trader Joe’s, Trader Vic’s. She’s not sure why. She calls her new favorite restaurant Chinchilla’s but it’s actually named Cucina Twist. When I ask her why someone would name a restaurant after a rodent, she isn’t fazed. It’s all perfectly logical.  She calls her helper’s new grandson RO RO – that’s what I’m calling him, she says by way of explanation. His name is Rowan, I think. She also started calling her sister’s dog Rosa, Rosapina. 

 

Oh this brought up a funny story. You see when I was all of 12; my mother had a cleaning woman named Rosapina. She lived next door with a Peruvian family, the Chang’s, as their housekeeper. Well, I thought her name was hilarious and started calling her Rosa Penis. One of the Chang boys must have told her I was calling her this and she refused to come to work for my mother. Somehow, in time, my mother smoothed this over and I remember well the earful I got from my mother. At the time, this wasn’t funny at all. Looking back, its frickin’ hilarious. And that name has resurfaced as the incorrect name of my aunt’s dog.

 

Rosa Penis. Say it out loud. It will make you smile.