It's All Nan's Fault

Everything is Nan’s fault. Nan has been my 82 year old mother’s helper for five months now. And my mother still doesn’t know where all her clothes are after her move to Rhode Island. “I know I packed them,” she says. “But Nan probably did something with them. And Nan doesn’t know anything about clothes.” What I think she means by this is Nan doesn’t hang the outfits that go together – together. Who knows, but to give Nan a bit of a break here, my mother has clothes spilling out from every closet and giant totes in every room of the house.

She misses her old helper Sabra. “She liked what I like,” she says by way of explanation. When I ask what she likes, she replies “Clothes, shoes, makeup.” That doesn’t sound like Nan to me nor does it sound like me to me. I take her out to eat – because everyone I know likes to eat.

Mom used to be into cooking but she doesn’t do much of that anymore. She even blames her lack of meals on Nan. Apparently when Nan ran into the Stop & Shop last time, she only bought her one Healthy Choice meal. As a result, she has been eating yogurt for dinner all week. I suggested she needs to ask for specifically what she wants. Par example, “I need five Healthy Choice dinners for the week.”  Hey we all need a scapegoat and hers is Nan.

I did ask Mom if she enjoys Nan’s company and she said, “Yes, she is very nice.” She also said something about how Nan was a hippie.

So they are very different. I think in a perfect world mom would find another Sabra – someone more like herself. This could be the job description:

Helper needed for elderly woman who likes clothes, shoes, and makeup. If you are into cooking gourmet meals, even better. Duties include: occasional cleanup, running errands, going shopping for clothes, shoes, makeup and oh food. Need vivacious, cheerful companion who is a girly girl. And don’t tail after elderly woman in the grocery store. She likes her space.

I reminded her: There is only one Sabra.

Nan took mom down to TJ Max on her birthday. She told me she shopped in TJ Max for two hours and told Nan to skedaddle. I guess Nan did and when I arrived to pick her up for her birthday dinner she reminded me of Minnie Pearl in her new sweater with the price tag ($12.99) prominently hanging off her garment. It is amazing that my mother can walk around shopping for two hours but cannot walk 100 yards for any other reason. Only shopping for food and clothing seems to motivate her.

She needs a little motivation at 82. We just celebrated her birthday and she can’t believe she is that old. When she looks in the mirror she finds it completely depressing/distressing. Ah, yes beauty fades so we must rely on other things like clothes, shoes, makeup. . .Oh and more thing -  it’s all Nan’s fault.  

Unrelated thoughts

• I was talking with Michael about school pictures and explained “It’s hard to smile on command.” He agreed and noted to really smile “you need to smile with your eyes.” So wise. 
• Food for thought: Have you ever hated something you were really good at?
• Can I blame my problems on Nan?