Driving Lessons

There are signs Mom should not be driving. She hasn’t been doing it for one. She has her keys and simply chooses not to. Her helper said, “I think she knows.”

Other signs include backing into a man with a motorized grocery cart in the Stop & Shop. A car is a lot bigger than a motorized cart.

She told me she used the car one day, not that she could have kept it from me, because her wheel was up on the ‘curb’ of the driveway.

Today, she had a doctor’s appointment at 3:30 p.m. and she was wondering what she would do if she was in a panic and got lost. You see she doesn’t remember the roads and routes here anymore even though she lived here for 15 years. She explained her longterm memory is intact but not the shortterm. So some old routes she used to take she remembers – sort of. Well I gave her my cell number in case she got herself in a panic but there has been no call. I can only assume she made it to the doctor’s and will make it home.

I did give her a driving test the other day. As we drove to the grocery store, it was apparent that turning from a full stop was not her forte. I said a couple times, you need to pull way up so you can see. I got the impression she would just take her chances and pull out if I wasn’t there in the car. On the straight aways she was better but missed a turn or two – she blamed me for talking and distracting her. Her parking also had me worried though I am not typically a passenger and am a little skittish - it sure seemed like she came awfully close to clipping the car next to hers.

It’s role reversal. I remember clearly how she wouldn’t let me drive home after I got my driver’s license. I remember clearly how she used to pump the ‘air brake’ when I was learning how to drive. And her outstretched arms bracing themselves on the dashboard stay with me still.

My 80 year old boss thinks she should keep driving. Think of it like a big golf cart, he said. She needs some independence. Hmmmm. We’ll see. First fender bender and she’s out of the driver’s seat for good. As for me, I’ll stick to the driver’s seat with her if we have to go somewhere. Even if it’s a golf cart ride away.

I tell you what though, I was impressed how she hustled right around the grocery store on foot no problem. Food can be a great motivator. And when I asked her if she could push the cart out into the parking lot she got very insulted, “I’m not dead yet.”

Unrelated thoughts

• I found a new job. It's a sinecure: an office requiring little or no work, especially one yielding profitable returns.
• My co-worker says mom needs a boyfriend. "There's a cup for every saucer."
• Sometimes something has gotta give in our busy lives. In my case, it's the garden. I promise some day I will have a garden with nary a weed and gorgeous, brown earth between the rows.