WORKING TITLE - Decision Points (but that is the title of George W.'s new book . . .)
My horoscope said that I was listening to my body more. Well good. After getting laid off for the second time in two years and consuming copious quantities of chocolate raisins and pretzels – I needed a little positive reinforcement. It was time for a change. In fact, I had no option but to change – change had been forced upon me. “You don’t have a seat at the table. The music has stopped and you don’t have a chair.” This is how my boss told me I was being let go. “No promises were made,” he explained and they weren’t. But still, what to do now?
For the first couple of days, I wandered around the house cleaning out cupboards, closets, and sorting through clothing to donate to some worthy cause. Aimless is a good word for me. I needed a purpose. I needed something to do. I needed to see Pam. An angel on this earth and source of much needed no nonsense wisdom.
We set the date for a pow wow in her kitchen with a bottle of good red wine.
Scene I – Pam’s Kitchen
“Pam I’ve had it. I have no job. No man. No life. I can’t seem to make decisions that are good for me.”
“I don’t think that’s true. You have a lot going for you. You have a Masters degree. You aren’t bad looking – I am not hitting on you, by the way. You have skills.”
“What fucking skills. I am generalist, who needs more confidence and could be a lot more outgoing. It just seems like I am picking the wrong jobs, men, everything. How do I know I am making the right decision next time. For example, should I apply for this job here (points to paper). Who knows I could be very good at administering a housing program.”
“Let’s see. You could flip a coin. Flip to a page in the bible for guidance. Look at your horoscope. Look at Chinese fortunes. How often do you take out Chinese food?” (Alex not paying attention – drifing off)
“Pam remember that Jerry Seinfeld episode when George decided to do the exact opposite of what he thought he should do.”
“No.”
“No? Well I can’t remember the exact examples but say George thought he should say something in a job interview, he would say the exact opposite and would get the job. I had a similar type of brainstorming idea today. If my instincts are so wrong, why not just do the opposite? But then I thought that only gives me two options. I just felt kind of lost today and I am not sure what I want to do. I’m just frustrated because I can’t seem to achieve my goals.”
“A new philosophy never hurt anyone. Why not just do nothing for a while and assume you will figure it out? What are your goals by the way? And what do you want to do?”
“That’s the point exactly. I don’t know what I want to do. So I’ve decided to give up my goals and self-help books and do something akin to George Costanza – go with the flow but when I have to make a decision about something, I am going to rely on my daily horoscope.
“So you have gone completely mad.”
“I don’t know. Today for instance my horoscope said I have good timing. So if I need to make a decision today, I will do so confidently with the knowledge that I have good timing. “
“You sure seem excited about this. I hope it works for you. But what about plain, simple common sense?”
“Oh, that’s what I have been doing. And it’s no fun. Common sense is overrated. Look what happened with Kevin. I prayed and prayed and it fell apart. Mrs. Chapman, my favorite neighbor, told me to follow my heart and I’ve had my heart broken ever since.”
“Alex, remember Kevin already had a girlfriend and you pursued it anyway? Remember I said, ‘I don’t know why you are doing this.’”
“But he asked me to marry him . . . .”
They both grab for the wine and fill up their glasses reminiscing about old times and old boyfriends.
Unrelated thoughts
- The laughter never ends. Daniel has asked me to spell 'up' and 'ip' in the last few days.
- Daniel had a friend over and dug through the woodpile to show him logs that looked like a hambone and a chicken leg.
- Doug told me to fill up my time with things I want to do. Otherwise it will get filled up with stuff I don't want to do.
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