Mid-life Crisis

I believe I was having a true mid-life crisis the other day. I was worrying I might lose my job and this led to me thinking about how I haven't fulfilled my potential. In fact when you look up mid-life crisis on Wikipedia or Google it says just that - something about unfulfilled potential. Men get younger girlfriends and red sports cars. Women take yoga.

Seriously, the crisis led me to realize that I want to achieve something BIG and wish I had aimed higher - a doctor, a lawyer or that I'd developed my own business.

Now I know the trick is to be happy where you are and this is just my ego talking. And I know there is still time. And I know this empty feeling may not go away until I do something great or quiet it with extreme meditation. But I actually think I'd rather do something great. Fifteen minutes of fame is better than no fame at all. . .

Other solutions to disappointment could be: help the less fortunate, talk to friends, change the attitude . . . .

In the last couple weeks this crisis has faded somewhat - not due to anything I've done but due to the fact I have kept my job. You see even though I wish I had aimed higher - this job suits me, my talents, and my lifestyle. I don't want to lose it.

Unrelated thoughts

• This was a note posted near my mother's oven: "Turn oven off when finished cooking." There's nothing like stating the obvious.
• In the extreme patience department (when helping my father who has Parkinson's disease) my thoughts fluctuated between thinking my father has actually become kinder with a debilitating disease to 'let the asshole crumble up and die.' Note: I didn't reveal my thoughts to him.
• Read "Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand. It's compelling and makes you realize how lucky we are - even someone with Parkinson's.