Cheap disposable shit

I had a moment today outside, where the sun felt so good on my face. A moment can undo a lot. It can undo and change the momentum of your day when things don’t always go your way. When you wish in your secret thoughts that bad luck would befall your enemies. When you criticize the accomplishments of others in your head. When your unrequited dreams are not fulfilled.

Yes things don’t always go your way or go as planned. A friend gave me a beautiful stack (5-6) of size 8 Husky jeans, with elastic waists and Daniel refuses to wear them. ‘I don’t like jeans,’ he said. If they were my size, I would wear them in a minute. They look brand new.

And the new Patriot jacket I got him for his birthday – the zipper is broken already. Cheap China shit – although I haven’t actually checked the label for the country of origin. If I worked for NPR I’d have just gotten myself fired with the China remark.

And those gorgeous (debatable) stainless steel thermoses that I bought for the boys’ lunches. One is dented and the insert is already broken.

Cheap disposable shit. I spent good money on those thermoses but of course I don’t have the goddamn receipt. I love to get rid of things - but that doesn’t include products I pay good money for.

But that sunlight helped. I must go out again. And exercise helped. I jogged at least 2.5 miles. You see I am at 149.5 lbs and though that might not sound like much depending on your weight, it may also sound like much depending on your weight. The point is 150 is my absolute cut-off and I am on a gaining trend. Just so you know, 145 was my old cut off and it’s got to end somewhere. Ever since I went to Block Island (I am blaming you Nan), I gained 2 lbs. and it doesn’t seem to come off. Though I have never really dieted – I figure I have to do something to stave off the lbs. That something is jogging. I am better at jogging than I am at restricting my food/drink intake. Much better.

In fact, the only time I have ever lost weight is due to illness or lovesickness. Neither is in the cards right now so jogging it is. That and a little sunlight to feel good. Let the negativity in my innermost thoughts melt away with the low, autumn sun.