Gay Paris

Well, I have been in Paris all week for a meeting for work. There have been some fun times and there have been some lonely times. Primarily, I do not like eating dinner alone. But all in all, this is a nice residential neighborhood where most people do not speak English. I personally think that is very cool - though with my limited French I cannot have conversations with anyone except the clerks at the hotel.

I have a few mishaps - was going the wrong way on the subway the other day and got caught in a wicked downpour also. As I jogged thru the streets of Montparnesse in my see thru white shirt - I acutally got very lost. Someone directed me in the approximate direction but I was so turned around and had no map or money with me. Lesson: bring money and a map when venturing out in strange cities, especially where you don't speak the language well. Eventually, after one hour, I found Rue Suffren. So I did get my exercise that day. And I can tell you when I go out walking I am the only person wearing running shoes in the whole city.

When I went out for dinner tonight I put my flats and my blazer on to be more chic. The French dress. Women are walking around the subways in four inch heels.

Obsevations of French Life:

Everyone is rushing around the city at full speed but then they'll stop for an hour to have coffee at a cafe.

There is great people watching here especially watching older ladies riding bicycles.

French people are thin and I mean thin. They look positively scrawny compared to Americans.

The American accent stands out as flat and awful after hearing musical French all week.

Making yourself understood is very important and that's hard if you don't speak the language well so sometimes you get what you get when you order in a restaurant par example.

Smoking is alive and well and wafting all over Paris.

One of the meeting participants who divulged to me he is an alcoholic advised me to treat myself well. Oui, je sais. He was speaking in regard to my new role as 'caregiver' to my mother.

Summer

I love summer. It's my favorite season hands down. I love the warmth, refreshing swims, and especially the light. Because even if you are working, you can enjoy the day and the light - before or after work. One of my favorite things is walking the dogs early in the morning - waking up with the world. Wouldn't it be great if we could at least have the light all year round? I could do without cold and I think I'd be fine. A little, fall-like chill every once and a while would satisfy the need for refreshing air and good sleeping weather.

Anyway, you get the idea. And when I expressed the above sentiment to the family about loving summer Michael said, "But mom, you are working" - as if I didn't get summer.

He's right to some extent. I don't get summer like they do. When school ends, you have this expanse of summer days and endless possibilities sweeping before you like an everlasting dream. But the season is still here and I am not dead yet. Plus I have a couple weeks vacation coming at the beach.

Also, I discovered something. You can go on a mini-vacation after work. I left work one day at 4 p.m. and took the boys to the beach. We stayed for only an hour or so but it was glorious. It was one of those 92 degree days and a good ten degrees cooler at the beach. The temperature was perfect - although it felt cool when we first walked up to the beach from the parking lot. The water was so refreshing. I felt very present enjoying that hour and very blessed to live in this gorgeous state.

I thought to myself, "Could anything make this more perfect - a beer for example?" No, the sun was just the right angle, the warmth on my skin was soothing. PERFECT.

In an aside, I was worried this morning because I lost my blog notebook with all my wonderful ideas I jot down. It's always in my purse and it is missing. Perhaps I left it at work. I'm pretty sure I did. Still, I felt a real loss. If all those humorous ideas are gone, there will be others but those are surely lost because I can't remember. Unrelated thoughts will be an addendum when I find that notebook. Until then, enjoy the most glorious season of all - summer!

UNRELATED THOUGHTS

• When a pack of women walked by me in the graveyard and admired Buster, one of them said, "Pollen?" in regard to the brownish, yellowish smudge on his back. "No, he rolled in something," I called and they recoiled in minor horror. Later I found out it was poop, pure and simple.
• Have an older friend who calls you kiddo. It won't bother you so much when you're in your 40s or older.
• Seen on Honey Dew Donuts sign: Peach Muffins Yahoo
• Boredom stifles creativity.
• I asked Michael, "What are you doing today?" Response: "Mom, it's raining." Duh
• Is it a coincidence that sun rhymes with fun and rain rhymes with pain?
• "Mom, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Michael said this one morning - referring to me making him an egg sandwich. I thought it was funny so I did.
• When I asked Michael about my new painting he said (and I quote), "Mom, we're guys."
• Extreme coupon shopping - I watched a couple buy 35 rolls of paper towels and 50 bags of Cool Ranch Doritos. Why?
• Some of these cool summer mornings/nights I walk by houses literally with dollar bills pouring out their AC window units. Why?
• I told Daniel we had a dog once who only used the dog house once in his life - when he died. Daniel proceeded to tell me it was a "portal." Did any of my loyal readers use that word when you were 8?
• A radio show announced a free trip giveaway to Paris, France. Did they really need to say France? I suppose it could have been Paris, Texas.
• Daniel: "Mom, is your work fun?" "No, sitting in a chair all day is not fun." Daniel: "Hey that's what I do too in school." He then proceeded to tell me about how thinking about Matunuck and Maine helps get him through the school year. "Me too. Me too."
• Rule for living with teenagers: Speak only when spoken to.
• Aren't you glad I found my notebook so you could read all these incredible insights?

I wrote a poem today

To only look out, from these eyes
And not see myself grow old
The brown spots on my skin
That sprout growths

I long for the white marshmallow skin
I've seen in diners
Of rural, midwestern towns

Women whose flabby arms
Stayed in the shade
Their pale white faces belie the sun drenched damage

Oh, to only look out
And feel I am still a girl
Flawless

But I didn't know

Unrelated thoughts

• It occured to me that many days I feel like a typing monkey at work or a drone in a bee hive.


• Daniel wanted to be sick so he could use the computer, drink Gatorade and watch T.V. He got his wish and I told him I'd buy him Gatorade if he got what Matt had (5d fever, 2 d malaise). Day 6 was today!


• Now he wants to be well and didn't show me the thermometer saying "It's 98.6." When I made him take his temp. again he said, "Oh look it went up." He's ready to get back to school.


• There is something to be said for endurance. I made it 1 year at my job.


• Seen on the Honey Dew Donut sign : "Peach muffins are back." I didn't know peach muffins where such a big draw. In fact, I've never had a peach muffin.


• Daniel told me I had paint in my hair. I told him I thought it was gray hair. "Well, there's a lot of it, " he remarked. "I'm getting old ......" I remarked back. "Aren't you 43. . . . ?" he said. A few years short, but I'll take it.


• Bumper sticker: "Don't believe everything you think."


• "I've waited 56 years for this" said my mother in regard to moving/keeping all of her furniture from her 3,600 square foot house which sold for full price. This in itself is a minor miracle. A major miracle would be getting her to downsize.


• Beware of the coxsackie virus.

Songs from my new album

can be found on You Tube. Here are the links:

Big Boned Gal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taABZxD4JwQ

Woman I Know

http://youtube/RsORs3huPxs

Daddy Daddy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INDgfCwBmgI

Country Road

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar9b6Rdolgo

Does your furniture have a hold on you?

Have I written about this before? How women of a certain age have a penchant for wanting to hold onto all of their furniture. I am talking all of the good stuff they have accumulated throughout their lifetimes. Take my mother for example.She lives in a 3,700 square foot home and is seriously contemplating staying put 1,000 miles from family because she wants to keep ALL of her furniture. Say what? She expressed some such notion this way: I waited my whole life for this. . . Not me. I feel like I could move into one room easy. Downsize me to a monk’s cell and I could be happy. The simplification and the shedding of possessions would make me very light. Very light indeed.

Somy mother is contemplating staying ALONE where she is - in her dream home surrounded by her beautiful things that she has waited her whole life for.

But I’ve got my eye on a 1,100+ square foot little place for her less than a 10 minute walk from the house. This would be perfect and cozy for one but she worries about the lawn, snow etc. and wants a condo – even though she’s not in a condo now. She is obsessed with the pricey condos at Wakefield Meadows because, you guessed it, she can keep all of her furniture in the 2,200 square feet. The cozy cottage I’ve got my eye on has a nice brick fireplace and hardwoods, it’s one level, with a nice yard. I think there’s even a sunroom of sorts. Practical –yes. Dream home – no. And there are three boys within a ten minute walk or a three minute bike ride who can move her lawn and shovel her walk. Also, we can conveniently pick her up to drive her places rather than travelling across town to get her. Note: she will not be driving herself much longer.

This is not a furniture survey of one mind you. I have witnessed this recurring theme with two other older ladies. My poll of three has all living in houses far toobig for them. And in my mother-in-law’s case – she has two houses. One is for furniture and one is for living (I am not kidding).

This (waste) wouldn’t be an issue if multiple generations still lived together.

A friend said he had one word for my mother: IKEA.

I have one word for my friend: YES.

Things are just things but when you are in your 80s apparently not.

Unrelatedthoughts

• I think John Travolta probably did offer reverse massages to the masseurs.Supposedly lots of Hollywood stars are gay and pretend not to be. Who knew?
• I think the odds are high that I will be the one to find my boss (80) dead in his office. Confession: I periodically think about this when I see him cough or gasp for breath.
• How to get your teenage son to hate you more? Tell him you are taking him for a phone upgrade and detour to the barber for a haircut. Note: I have not actually done this.
• Poor Matt has had a high fever for 5 days – probably just the flu but blood work may tell a different tale. I told my boss if I get what he has I’ll be out all next week. I told Matt that this illness could kill an elderly person. . . .but I did not tell my boss this.

Lottery dreams

Like many of you, I have been fantasizing about the MegaMillions jackpot. In fact, I bought my first ever lottery tickets today. Two of the tickets were random combinations of numbers but for one I picked the numbers myself. As I read out the six numbers to the clerk, 201101 – another customer began laughing. Silly me. There are no zeros. I told the clerk I better fill out the card. So I did and picked 01 02 10 11 20 02. What I was trying to do was use some combination of these numbers: 201 1010 2011 as my father died at 2:01 p.m. on Oct. 10, 2011. The more I looked at the sequence the more I noticed a pattern and thought this might be my key to the abundance I desire – 2011 010 2011 does not seem like a random sequence to me. Perhaps it was a sign. (This is what boredom at work can lead to). Well, 01 02 10 11 20 02 was about as close as I could get to the death numbers and when I arrived at the counter with my card – again the customer was laughing at me. I almost said something about this being my first time but decided to ignore him. Ha, just wait until I win. Meanwhile, the clerk was very nice and asked me if I would like to keep the card. “Why?” I wondered. “In case you want to play it again,” he said. “No.” This was my one and only chance. All or nothing.

Daniel wants to go to Costa Rica if I win. I explained we will go to Costa Rica if I win but it’s pretty hard – something like one in 175 million. But that number is changing every second as 1,200 tickets are sold per minute. Matt chimed in from the other room and told me to be positive. Well I am very positive. So positive – these thoughts of abundance have had me smiling all day long. I feel adrenalin and endorphins surging through my body.

What would I do with a cool $300 million? I would do the same things I want to do now but don’t have the money for. Make sense?

-Stay in Matunuck all summer and/or buy a house there.

-Take annual trips with family – but first Costa Rica.

-Donate 10 percent to charity and set up a philanthropy (for the disadvantaged).

-Retire and manage my philanthropy/philanthropic pursuits.

-Fix up house - new walkway, new rug/or wood floor, convert garage to family room, build new garage, repave driveway, paint, new appliances including a gas stove (stainless) – you get the idea.

-Buy an investment property that would generate monthly income.

-Buy Doug a new car.

-Consider giving some money to family/friends/church.

-Play tennis three times a week.

They say money doesn't make you happy. Well I am already relatively happy so that's not an issue for me. And I'll have lots of time to blog about the hapiness effect of all this money when I win. Stay tuned.

The Golden Years

You can just see the head or hump of the camel.

When you are staying for a week in Florida in an over-55 complex, there are many rules to adhere to, especially if you have children who are under 16. Children are not allowed in the pools before 10 a.m. or between the hours of 2 to 4 p.m. Children under 14 are not allowed in the pool without supervision. There is no jumping, splashing, rough play in the pools. In fact, there is no nothing in the pools – there is a whole list. And the old people will glare at you when you walk in or when you reach your hand through the ‘security’ fence to undo the gate instead of swiping the pass card.

But if you are creative, you can find a way to have a little fun in an over-55 community. You can be like Daniel, and puff your swim shirt up like a Portuguese Man-o-War and float on your back by the old people – working hard to get a reaction. (I think he received a startled look or two.) Or you can secretly race the old lady swimming laps back and forth and again try to get a reaction. You can also imagine what it would be like to bomb off the side of the pool into a cadre of old people, complete with floatable noodles under their arms and dry hair, your giant cannonball cascading water all over and spoiling the serenity. Ahhhhh, this is the life. Except until your 16 you can’t use the pool tables either.

In an aside, our elderly neighbor told us about hoop snakes in Appalacia. These snakes nip onto their tails and roll down the hills. She told us this tale as if she found it completely believable.

Unrelated thoughts

I returned home and realized that our house sitter/my good friend had been staring at my bra all week, hanging prominently off the knob of my dresser. Sorry to spoil the view Nan.

After waking at 3:00 a.m. for our flight home, I was in near hysterics on the leg from Atlanta to Providence when I saw a woman in front of me stroking a large, wooden camel that rested in her lap. At first I thought this was a Chihuahua but it was too large. She put the camel away at one point but brought it out again for the landing.

Books to read: City of Thieves (must) and The Devil In the White City (not finished yet but awesome). These are both non-fiction but read like novels – the best of both worlds.

I can’t think of anything else that’s funny because that camel is overpowering.