The deck is all decked out

This deck was dirty about 5 minutes after painting

I know many of you have been waiting in great anticipation for my next update about painting the deck. Well today is your lucky day except for one small detail - Doug took the camera and I don't want to go rummaging thru Matthew's things to find his camera - so there will be no photo of the finished product until next time. I know you may be disappointed but you will have something to look forward to - a photo of the freshly painted, gray deck.

After all my cleaning (I didn't rent the power washer afterall), the sun finally came out about 10 days later and I painted it. The next day I touched up some spots and painted the top of the railing. Why only the top? That was about all the paint (it's actually stain) that I had left.

Well this deck is kind of like the story of my life these days. When I try to make something pretty, pristine, nice - it gets messed up almost immediately. Almost immediately after I thoroughly cleaned the deck, I noticed a huge muddy blob in the middle. Well in the process of all that washing, which involves water, the dirt under the deck became one giant mudhole and Tia the dog couldn't help herself. I know, I know - this is supposed to make me a flexible person and this is life. Just once, I would like to plant a garden, paint a wall, vacuum my car and have it stay clean and nice for a day. Just a day.

Shortly after painting the deck, I found Tia's muddy paw prints circling the deck. Somehow she had eluded the barrier I erected. Oh well.

With dogs, boys, and one man(husband) around I realize my dreams of pristine are almost impossible. A friend who has obviously done more reading about children than I have said, "Boys always want to change their environment." (Dogs might fit in there too.) In other words, boys want to alter everything almost all the time. Case in point, Daniel found a chicken egg on our walk this morning. A nearby chicken or goose must have laid it in the graveyard. Well, what would you want to do with an egg if you were a boy? Smash it of course. So that he did right on someone's headstone. The vibrant yellow yolk dripping down the grains of granite.

Change, change, change. If there is a new car that is freshly vacuumed a boy will get it filthy in a matter of seconds after soccer practice. (By the way, Matt told me cars get dirty and I'd have to get over it. I told him I wasn't there yet, but almost. )If there's a sand castle on the beach, a boy will smash it almost immediately. If there are toys orderly organized in the garage cubbies, a boy will scatter them all over the yard. If there is a mud puddle, a boy will smear the mud all over the pavement. If there is bare, flat ground - a boy will dig a hole. You get the idea.

Speaking of holes, this is a classic. I took Matt and Daniel to the beach on Memorial Day after the chorus of 'there's nothing to do' resulted in the idea for a beach trip. After playing with his brother for a while and starved for human companionship other than the familiar, Daniel came up with the classic pick up line. Upon spying a grandpa and boy digging a hole, he went up to them and said, "Excuse me, but do you need some help digging that hole?" He proceeded to pick up one of their shovels and join right in. I can't help but think he will so bold as to approach bikini-clad women when he's older with a similar line. "Excuse me, but you look like you could use some help with that lotion."

I will wind down this entry today with my AWESOME news, not necessarily in any particular order. We are getting a new dog!! and I got a great job. I just come right out and say it: It's $55K and I work out of my home dealing with small water and wastewater systems. It just felt like it was meant to be and I feel completely grateful to the universe. There wasn't even a job interview - it was a conversation over lunch. My boss had wine.

I am determined to enjoy this job and do a great job. Wish me luck. I start July 1 but still get my 2 weeks at the beach in August!! I am also determined to keep my sanity and keep up with writing the blog. Thanks for reading.

Next time: Toto arrives and how it all came to pass.

The fall from grace

I like to think of myself as a pretty coordinated person but the fall couldn't have been pretty. Though I didn't actually see it I felt it and that feeling was utter helplessness.

After dutifully preparing the dog's dinner, I proceeded to carry her bowl outside and down the ramp. My feet slid out from under me and my elbows, head, ankles (somehow) all hit the deck very hard. To add insult to injury, the dog food was spilled all over my hair. (My head ached so much the next day or two - I couldn't even rest it on the headrest in the car.)

I know what you are thinking. Why didn't she just call the dog and feed her inside or up on the deck. The dog can no longer hear well at all and we have to go find her at feeding time.

After the fall, I lay momentarily stunned and then rolled off the bottom of the ramp to the grass where I cried. My body hurt. I actually was imobilized due to the pain. Also, I was feeling sorry for myself. No one apparently heard the crash. Thus no one rushed to my rescue.

I told the story to a few people for sympathy and got a little. The black marks on my elbows are slowly fading and you bet your bottom dollar I won't go out in my socks again.

My friend Nan said if I died out there someone would have noticed when the dog started bringing in body parts. Very funny. I think someone might have noticed when I wasn't around to cook dinner. We're hungry, where's Mom?

More deck news
The latest project is painting the deck and though I wanted to rent a power washer because I thought it would be fun, I also realize renting things costs money. And since I am not working, I relied on bleach powder, bleach, a scrub brush on a handle and the hose. I will take a picture for you of the finished project.

Just back from the graveyard walk and I met a nice lady with a cocker spaniel with all sorts of problems - according to her. Bad breeding means he's deaf at age seven and has lots of allergies. He kept rubbing his butt on the ground. But he has a sweet personality and that counts for alot.

Blog bog due to puppy search
I keep getting diverted on the computer looking for puppies. AND yes Doug was about to kill me but also relieved. When you start a sentence "I have to confess" and you were only looking at dogs on the Internet, well, things could be worse.

Anyway the nice lady in the graveyard with the Wickford sweatshirt said I could find a Labradoodle or poodle mix on-line. So we'll see. She also wondered why she hadn't seen me before. You see all the graveyard dog walkers know each other. I told her we had an elderly dog who recently died but couldn't walk when alive, I was recently layed off, and now I am walking the remaining dog again.

When I was explaining to her that I thought poodles where weird she was not judgemental in the least but rather said something like "It's good to know what you like." Yes it is. Yes it is. It's also good to know what you want and I want to get another dog/puppy. Help.

The fall

Next time: How I proceeded to fall down this dog ramp, hit my head, elbows, ankles, and spill dog food all over my hair. I could have died, and no one would notice.

Walks and rambles: Whores in the graveyard

Today is Daniel’s last day of “school” until fall. I will be with him all summer as well as the other two boys when school gets out in a month or so.

We’ve fallen into our routine but he reminded me yesterday “We’re not going to go on a walk everyday when I’m home.” It’s been really fun – he rides his bike and I walk the dog. Yesterday, he made a literal beeline and changed our route to follow a real-live human (other than me). He caught up to the woman on his bike and started chatting away. It turns out we’ve seen her around – she works in the bookstore in town and has a HUGE yellow lab. This lab is twice as wide as our Tia and consequently we found out Ruby also weights twice as much. We also found out the bookstore in the “mall” isn’t doing too well and people keep telling her “I hope you don’t close.” And she tells them “Come in and buy some books.” The books haven’t been selling and they are hoping things pick up for summer.

As we were exiting the graveyard Daniel found more humans by the goats. He talked to the little girl who gave his some grass for the goats. She told him they like grass and yes, they do bite. He gave her a “lucky” penny that I found on the walk.

I seem to find coins almost daily when I am out walking. And in my excitement and surprise say something like “Look what I found.” Then of course Daniel says, “Can I have it.” And I give it to him hoping the universe will reward me in the future. Plus, we are not talking a lot of money here . . .

After that it was off to the Dollar Tree store – which by the way is filled with crap from China. It’s way WORSE than Job Lot, if you haven’t been, you actually don’t need to bother. But Daniel had $2.50 burning a hole in his pocket and had that money spent in about ten seconds. In fact, right inside the door he deposited those coins for a gum ball and a necklace (if you could call it that). That left $2 for two items – but he forgot about the tax and I ponied up 14 cents. He kept the change – I see a theme here.

Other funny things happened in the last day or two:

Michael didn’t know he was going to the state track meet and didn’t bring his clothes to school, so consequently he ran in his pants. He has actually done this before. And Doug told him he could probably take seconds off his time just by the simple act of wearing shorts. Anyway, I told him if he was an Indian boy he would have acquired the name “The Boy who runs in khakis” or “The Boy who runs in chinos” by now.

Doug brought his exercise ball to work to sit on and he left the house extra early so co-workers wouldn’t see him pumping it up. He said he lasted about 1.5 hours on the ball – because it’s tiring and takes work. I wondered if he would still feel like he was moving at the end of the day – like when you’ve been on a boat all day. He was lying up in bed at 5:00 p.m. and I wondered if that exercise ball had done tired him out.

We met a man in the graveyard on Monday who fed Tia biscuits. And he said he finds lots of whores in the graveyard . . . well I didn’t realize what he was talking about for a minute or so and was picturing high school students getting it on in the bushes but what he meant was he has biscuits for all the dogs. He is very friendly but wears a very bad hairpiece and I can see where those acquired the RUG moniker. I could see a heavy seam and stitching where a part would be.

I’ve been recording music and really got a little lazy regarding some of the more difficult guitar parts. I asked my producer/professional musician friend to fix a couple parts – the album is almost ready! Let it breathe. Anyway, he was having difficulty and told me I have a quirky way of playing, almost like my own dialect. So, he was having great difficulty matching my guitar parts. I guess being unique has its plusses and minuses.

I just wrote this excellent, bluesy, fun song – She got so skinny, her teeth look big (I want some meat on the bone). Coming soon!

Who likes kid behavior?

Well, we ran into an acquaintance, but now I’ll call her a friend, at a local bar. No we are not bar rats but do go out on occaision, especially after our weekly mixed doubles league. Anyway, this acquaintance from almost 20 years ago and I have crossed paths over the years – we had a friend in common. She works in town at the chocolate store, so I see her around holidays when I am buying chocolate for distant relatives. Sweenor’s will even mail the chocolate for you if you want.

At the bar that night, somehow the topic of kids came up. She doesn’t have any and doesn’t want any – she may be too old anyway. That’s fine I told her, people who don’t want kids shouldn’t have kids because it’s the thing to do. But her real reason for not having kids wasn’t necessarily philosophical – she just didn’t like them or to clarify, she said she didn’t like kid behavior. Though she added, obviously she was a kid once herself. Weren’t we all, weren’t we all.

I didn’t comment at the time, but I wondered if anyone likes, enjoys, relishes bratty kid behavior. Not me. And my five-year-old knows exactly when he can get away with it and he turns it on in these moments to draw attention to himself. If grandma and I are talking, he’ll continuously interrupt or pull on my arm because he knows I don’t want to get too strict with him in front of grandma. When coaching his soccer team, he will pout and cry or even sit out when he knows I really can’t focus on him with 10 other children to manage.

So, new friend I don’t think anyone really likes kid behavior, though there are some awfully cute moments to balance out the bad ones. People have children partially because it’s what we’re programmed to do, partially because society dictates it.

Personally, I do feel a great sense of accomplishment and pride when I look at my children. They test you and push you to your limits like nothing else.

Growing up, I never thought about children and never even discussed it with my husband to be. After marriage, we decided to try and after a very difficult birth, had two more children. Why? I don’t exactly know.

But there’s no turning back now. And the thing about kid behavior, you can keep it to a minimum with discipline. Ever watched Super Nanny? The other thing is children do grow up and out of kid behavior. I was a girl once . . . I know.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It took about six weeks or so but I am definitely settling into this unemployment thing – except when I look at my checkbook balance. But it’s all good. I have accomplished a lot including numerous household projects I wouldn’t have batted an eye at while working. My anger over the layoff has dissipated and I have the luxury to think about what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Oh there’s lots I want to do. Get in a writing group. Take sailing lessons. Learn to knit. Get a PhD in something. Improve my tennis and musical skills. But alas there is only so much time and only so many nights I can be out due to family considerations.

You see family comes first. And I know that. These boys are growing like weeds and when I have too much time on my hands I can learn to knit and sail and be in one of those writing groups with other little old ladies.

I can also start a rock band called The Grandmas. We will all wear colorful, Chuck Taylor high tops and have the time of our lives.

Seriously, I have some time to do things now and some money but I feel needed at home.

A woman I was chatting with at a soccer game recently said she always felt when she had time, she had no money to do anything and when she had no time, she had money. Kinda makes sense.
Wouldn’t it be great to do whatever you want, when you want. That’s my goal, within reason.

Once this unemployment fades, I would love to have a job with enough money and enough flexibility to keep me happy.

Perks of working at a newspaper

It’s ironic, no?, that I had just written a column about all the perks of working at a newspaper (though it was never published) and a week or so later I was unceremoniously laid off.

The perk column went something like this:

You certainly don’t work at a newspaper for the pay but there are a number of perks that people may not be aware of. For instance, it’s the only place I’ve worked where you can legitimately read the newspaper at work. And you will not get scolded for this. You have to read other people’s newspapers to see what stories you might have missed and you have to read your own newspaper to make sure everything came out error-free.

If you like children, the newspaper can be a rewarding place to work. I say this because co-workers would often bring their children into work – because they don’t get paid enough to afford a babysitter. While the kids could be a bit of a distraction I think it was really because they were bored out of their minds and needed something constructive to do. Actually, combining the enterprises of a newspaper and a daycare might bring in some much-needed profits, while at the same time the youngsters could learn a trade at a young age. I know for example at my paper we hadn’t had a copy editor since the dark ages. Children could be trained for this job as well as selling advertisements and soliciting subscriptions. Who could say no to a kid?

Another unexpected perk of working at the paper was that I had my very own ant farm right under my desk. I am not kidding. There was a trail of ten or so ants that would come out from the cracks in the linoleum – probably searching for my muffin crumbs. I will miss them and they will miss me. Somebody please feed them.

Furthermore, when I worked at the paper I didn’t suffer from car envy and in fact I didn’t have to think about getting a new car at all. Though my car was over 12 years old, starting to rust, and sometimes smoky, it was by far not the worst car sitting in the newspaper parking lot. I could put my car envy aside and get some use out of that old clunker a little longer.

But seriously, one of the biggest perks of working at the paper was that I was rarely if ever bored. You certainly can’t say that about every job. It was also the only place I’ve worked where you could use humor on a regular basis. Humorous columns, humorous editorials, humorous headlines – you get the idea. Likewise, I will miss my witty co-workers.

But these perks all pale in comparison to the best and greatest perk of all of working at a newspaper – they laid me off. I am now free of the tyranny – the tyranny of the continuous piling on and on of more and more duties until the editor is downright worn into the ground and dies. Another laid off editor said the industry would have killed me. I was lucky to get out.

Now it’s hard to feel lucky when you get laid off and people tell me things happen for a reason. What that reason is I may never know but I do know this has left me wondering if anyone other than the ants will notice that I am gone.

Will I be missed?

When I told my neighbor that I was starting a blog he immediately asked me if there was any money in that. No. But then again you never know. Hey I have to occupy myself somehow and have a regular outlet for my writing now that am I fully encapsulated in the life of an unemployed mom. And I know people have noticed my absence from the travel lanes. I used to regularly cross paths with one friend at the swimming pool for my 7 a.m. swim. One morning I showed up early again (my husband covered kid duty) and he immediately asked me “Where have you been?” I explained that I was laid off, I was O.K. with that, and I was still coming to the pool, albeit later. So now he knows why he doesn’t see me anymore. He said I kept wondering “Where that girl went.” You see this is why I love him – I am 43 afterall.

But I used to walk to work. Do the crossing guards notice my absence? I bet they do but they are not calling me a girl. Instead they are wondering where that middle aged lady is who used to walk to work with her red bag. I should take that route too one day before school lets out to say hello to my three acquaintances and let them know why they don’t see me anymore. Or do they care? In any event, it might inspire a column or blog entry or both.

Yes my life has gotten simpler but it’s amazing how you fill the time. Now I have time to get the donuts for Michael’s spring breakfast. Now I have time to go look for the clothes he left after the track meet (and I found them in a mushy pile under the bleachers). Now I have time to swing by the library and drop off the kid’s books - daily. I have time but it’s a strange thing – at times I feel my time is as occupied as before and at times I feel a sense of loneliness when I am home by myself. I guess I’m still adjusting to the unemployed status.

And I’d love to make some cash. People keep suggesting freelance writing so perhaps I’ll have to get back into that.

There are some significant painting chores I can take on if this soggy weather ever dries out – the front porch, the back deck, and numerous window frames.

There are squirrels to deal with. Yes squirrels. After hoeing and planting a full row of peas, I saw the squirrel out there the next day. When I went to investigate – I found holes all along my row. Damn that squirrel. Makes me wonder about the futility of planting the big old garden out back. The varmits have numbers and I am only one. But my husband Doug is talking about getting a pellet gun.

Yes, my world has gotten smaller. My haunts are the library, the pool, and the car for picking up children. I had The Devil Wears Prada on my return pile and my five-year-old son asked me if he had seen it. When I said no, he asked if he could. It’s for older people. “Does it have kissing in it,” he wondered. A little bit. He said he thought he was ready for that. Hmmm.

Sprucing up the house

Oh yes. Besides working on my tan and my tennis game I am tacking household chores full throttle. And I don’t mean ordinary, everyday woman chores. I mean handywoman chores. In the past few weeks I have successfully caulked around the tubs (harder than it sounds), lowered a curtain rod, painted the walls around newly installed windows, and most recently painted the front porch. Yes. I felt so proud of myself because it looks damn good and I am learning new skills. I even said to my husband maybe for my next job I’ll be a handywoman.

First off, I had to clean the porch with bleach powder and lots of elbow grease. Next I applied a bleach solution that I let sit for a day and then I rinsed it off. I bought myself a big old stain brush and stained away. It looks so good I have to go get some white trim paint and touch that up too.

Next I will tackle the back deck. Now I wanted to paint the window frames (we bought new windows a while back) but my husband seemed very leary about my ability. He had primed them and I only had to paint one side. He wasn’t ready to let me paint those but when I suggested we do it together he seemed more eager. So it’s the back deck for now and I see a power washer in my future. The neighbor has one so I might ask to borrow it or I might just rent one. See new skills. I’ve already read that you don’t want to set the pressure too high or the wood will ‘fuzz.’ You can paint over stain but you can’t stain over paint. Makes sense. So speaking of extra cash – if anyone out there needs their deck or porch painted or stained, I’m your gal. And I’ll give you a good rate if you pay me in cash.

The day I painted the porch – I was also on Daniel duty. Are you ready for some action? Besides a couple hours for painting, our day involved a bike ride/walk (the dog and I walked), a trip to the playground/library, tennis, a trip to the paint store, a lunch stop at Subway, and baseball in the backyard. When he asked for me to take him swimming, I said another day this week. He and I were both a little tired and I slept well that night.
In fact, the next day I was even a little sore.

All this activity may be my answer to losing ten pounds. I can discipline myself somewhat eating-wise to lose a little weight but I am better at ramping up the activity. As one of Daniel’s daycare teachers said, “You will be in the best shape of your life.”

I should take a before and after picture – before with desk job and after spending four months with the boys. It could be dramatic.